The Mistress of Gyaan

Got a couple of minutes?

2011-12-28T21:04:00.000+05:30

I'm sick of kissing ass. Everybody wants to be the couple that is most in love. Eeverybody wants to be the coolest couple. Eeeverybody wants to be the couple that will get ahead most in life. (It also goes without saying that at this point, Eeeeverybody IS a couple).

NOBODY KNOWS HOW TO PARTAY ANYMORE! *whacks head against wall*

mumblegrumblestupidshowoffsgetafuckinglife

Dilemma

2011-12-05T22:44:00.000+05:30

Today an old friend whom I don't really talk to sent me an un-personal email. She grouped me along with another old friend whom I cut off from. My heart breaks when I see that she still thinks of us. Me.

I had good friends. They were great when I had them. At a distance.

But what's done is done. There's forgiving and forgetting. And then there are things you can never forgive and forget. Not them. They didn't do a thing. But there are hurdles I cannot cross.

They saw me break. They helped me break/not break/mend/not mend. But sometimes you don't mend. You don't mend till you see someone stick up for you in front of the thing that broke you. And sometimes you make the decision to not break yourself anymore when nobody does that.

To you all.

I'm glad you're happy. I am too.

Drunken Monkey

2011-11-29T22:07:00.001+05:30

I am drunk. Most decidedly so. A night out with the colleagues, after a couple of months. I sorely missed this.

Days like today when I am full of love for everyone, I only wish they could find what I have. The ones who need it.

Lots of love, yougaiz.

Growing up just isn't any fun

2011-11-22T20:07:00.000+05:30

First and foremost, I suppose I ought to apologize for the self indulgent and depressive posts I seem to be putting up here. Secondly, I am happy, despite what it might look like.

However, I am also creepily dissatisfied.
I recently read this article by Natasha Badhwar and it hit home. Read if if you would like a fabulous writer to elaborate on the happy misery we live in. http://www.outlookindia.com/article.aspx?279005

It feels awful, not having close friends anymore. It feels awful that I have no memories to share anymore. It feels awful that I'm afraid of creating new ones with new people, for fear of losing them. We're all at that crux when a fling with a boy JUST might not make sense anymore if you aren't seriously considering marrying him. That crucial point when you learn to stop bitching and start dealing with other people's insecurities, because you know you have yours too. The strange situations where you don't know how to quit your job even though its taking advantage of you and eating up your youth. Suddenly, if you don't have yourself a USP (and no, being a nice person isn't quite enough), you're going to be shunned by the wonderful interesting world. And of course, my personal un-favourite: a man is judged by the company he keeps. She keeps? They keep.

Old friends fight with me. Newer ones stick to the side that will give them more social benefits.
Everybody's fighting, bitching, trying to sound better than the last one. There's pride, ego and accusations everywhere. While I earlier would scorn people making fake friendships, I find myself doing the same.

I'm dissatisfied. Unhappy by the fact that I truly am a social misfit - by my own choice, granted. But suddenly, things just seem to have snapped. The world isn't my oyster anymore. People aren't fun and understanding anymore. Nobody attempts to be a friend.

The world is becoming a bitchy hateful socialite.

And then, just when you're on the verge of a breakdown, someone calls. And you know things aren't that bad. All you need to do is create your own world - where you're comfortable, happy, and know that you aren't harming a soul.

I like to move it, move it.

2011-11-17T19:19:00.000+05:30

How do you get yourself out of a rut?

For the past few months I have been focusing on stabilizing my life and getting back to a place I used to be. The emotional abuse I suffered a year ago did a lot to wreck the confidence I had taken years to build. It also made me more afraid of the world.

But the world doesn't owe me anything. I, however, owe myself and the people I love, a lot. One is to stop being afraid. A while ago I attended a friend's birthday party where a number of people I was visibly afraid of, came.

While I thought everything was fine and dandy for a few hours, at the first sign of the people involved, I felt a wave of repulsion and fear overcome me. So much so that I couldn't stand to have a decent and polite conversation with them. I think all that came out of me were a contorted face, nervous laughter and fake conversation that didn't include looking into anyone's eyes. More than that, watching these people visibly reject me made me want to walk off - which I did.

My life now doesn't include the need to be a social butterfly. However, deep inside is a little cocooned item waiting to unfurl her wings and tell the rest of the world to please, darlings, fuck off, for enabling my abuse.

And while I certainly don't want those people in my life again, I would like ability to be strong enough to tolerate the sight of them, and not feel the urge to run away. And I would like to not have any drama.

And I would like to realize what amazing luck I have to have surrounded myself with wonderful people, without feeling afraid that they would turn into the same weirdos.

This rebuilding shit is hard work, people.

Creepy Crawlies and How They're Actually Good For You.

2011-09-29T21:51:00.001+05:30

Creepy crawlies tell you something's wrong.

I haven't had a case of the CC's for a really long time now - 7 months to be exact, and yes, that means exactly what you think it does. I've cut off a large number of people from my life, some associated with an old life.. and that's been saving me from a lot of anxiety attacks, because somehow I always ended up feeling like I'm worth more than people who kept bringing up uncomfortable things just to watch me squirm.

I've cut off from people I haven't wanted to, either. People I am protective about, but somehow who seem to be unleashing my superbitchy side *frowns*, I wish I had the kind of relationship with them where I could say things to their face instead of posting them on social networking sites.

I would love to say that I've done great things over the past few months, but maybe I haven't. No great spending or big expenses, no fancy new job, no great trips abroad, and no snazzy weight loss or sudden recognition, or outburst of creativity.

Perfectly preserved dead dragonfly. Yum.

The brother's birthday ice-cream.

Dandelion at Kodai.

Birthday love from the girls.

Bacon Crow. Copyright, A.

Your Kitteh is low on battery and will now go to Sleep mode. Please plug in to continue purring.

Blue roses and green (??), available at your nearest mallige-poo florists.

The tangled webs we weave (that black speck on the road is actually a spider crawling on its web spun from the mirror, across the bike)

But, to me, I've done the greatest thing ever: I've been happy.

I've made new friends and contacts and have better colleagues - more fun and creative and crazy than my old 'gang', whom I sorely missed till I took a chance on other people. I've made a decision to be with someone who fulfills everything I've ever needed, lets me be independent and never lets me feel unprotected.

I've made the decision to be at a job where I love what I do, albeit the slight tiffs.

And I have my kitten.

Things I learnt from my cat

2011-09-05T21:47:00.000+05:30

1. If you really want something, take the initiative, stick a claw into it and pull it closer.
2. If you're gonna be a cranky and demanding bitch, learn to look cute while doing it.
3. Be clear about what you want and don't stop whining till you get it.
4. Everything else can wait - naptime NEEDS to happen.
5. People will forgive you for nearly everything if you purr and act like you like them in their presence.
6. If you really want some peace and quiet, go somewhere where NOBODY can find you.
7. Do your real work when everyone else is asleep.
8. Move your body gracefully, even if you're pooping.
9. Stick to concrete mealtimes no matter who forgets.
10. Don't forget to be stupid once in a while.

A toast

2011-07-29T00:23:00.003+05:30

To all the love I've been getting.

1. Happy Birthday Romal! May you have love, light and another 25 years more of wonderful people in your life. (I'll wish for 25 more years on your 50th :D) And please, can I meet lots more of the lovely gay boys you seem to know? I would gladly marry some, because THEY ARE SO FRIKKIN AMAZING.

2. To Dhingra, we need to have a party already!

3. To My Boy, who doesn't blog anymore, but who I used to follow in college, and am pretty kicked I ended up with. And who is hands-down the most intelligent, sensitive, humorous and patient straight man I have ever met.

4. To Nagarjuna. MEALS: Period.

Love. Lots of it.

Baggage

2011-07-04T23:02:00.000+05:30

Under your mattress

In pages of perfume

In your gmail's g-spot

Old pictures of pictures

Friends

Returnables

I found an old chat with a friend who told me she was changing her email ID to get rid of baggage. I found that chat while I was looking up some of my own baggage.Its strange how the people who laughed at you are the ones you're laughing at now. The ones who pitied you had worse happen to them, and the ones who made judgements are having judgements made at them.

And the ones who fixed you are the ones who need fixing? No, not all.

But I believe in letting baggage go. Maybe that's a bad thing. Old friends... who don't exist anymore? They're old. They were friends. And now all they are is hazy memories and some cliche's of speech.

There is some baggage I hold on to. Acts of kindness. Bloggers that used to make me laugh, and some who used to keep me in awe. Walks in the rain with old friends who just aren't anymore, but back then we thought we'd be soulmates forever.

People I used to get irritated with because I felt like they never got close enough, but who I am now glad never got close enough.

So I miss the days of connections. Maybe they're over. Maybe we all just grew up and the smell of sex, status, alcohol and money distracted us all.

Huh.

Full Circle

2011-06-06T05:18:00.000+05:30

Its strange to me and sometimes overwhelming, happiness is. Wonderful when you finally get what you've been wanting your entire life.

So much more than love.

Here I lie

2011-05-01T22:55:00.001+05:30

About being busy. I lie that I make plans. I lie that I'm totally mended. I lie.

Bangalore Queer Film Festival and Prayers for Bobby

2011-03-01T18:53:00.001+05:30

Official Website of BQFF.

I have a confession to make. I haven't watched a lot of gay or lesbian-centric movies because I've always assumed that many people are fine with those who have alternate sexualities. And I've never really discussed or gone much deeper into the issue because.. well.. I'm lazy.

On Saturday I went to watch 'Prayers for Bobby' at the third annual BQFF held at Alliance Francaise. Starring Ryan Kelley as Bobby Griffith and Sigourney Weaver as his mother, Mary Griffith, the move is about a young man who commits suicide because of his family and community's unacceptability of who he is. His death shakes his family up, particularly his mother, who begins to search for the deeper truth in the Bible and its interpretation of homosexuality as a sin.

Now I'm not going to ooh and aah about how it portrayed 'homosexuality' in specific so realistically. Even though, by the way, it did.

But something that struck me was how if you had replaced homosexuality with any other problem, like depression, it would have been as believable. Because that's how it happens in real life.

I had entered the auditorium about ten minutes after the movie had started, sat down expecting a cheesy pointless Lifetime movie. Darn it if those damn sniffles didn't catch up with me too! (OK, ok, so I also cry for everything sad, what's your point?) It was cheesy but there was shitloads of truth in it, too. It wasn't just a gimmicky 'gay' movie like I thought it would be.

They ought to show this movie to every class in college. For once, from a straight person's point of view, I could understand the emotional nuances of being gay and I felt like I connected. And I left wanting to do something.

'Course I still don't forgive his mother. I mean, dude, he still killed himself. :P

Scuba pe Dooba

2011-02-21T13:19:00.006+05:30

Bad Title. I want to hit myself.

So since next month is going to be HECTIC (don't miss the all caps), I took a weekend off this month and went off to Murdeshwar, originally just to snorkel and see the place, but last minute decided I wanted to scuba dive as well.

And boy, am I glad I did that!

The whole trip is pretty easy and weekend-doable. Left Bangalore on Friday night, reached Murdeshwar on Saturday morning. We were staying at a place called RNS Residency which isn't too far away from the temple and the beach. The temple. by the way, is apparently 'renovated', but it looks very new and sharp, and its painted in all gold and silver, which is a extremely painful on the eyes in the daytime. Surprisingly not so bad at night:

We were introduced to the scuba equipment, practiced and got used to it on day 1. All in the swimming pool. I cannot begin to tell you how cool it is when you first go underwater and begin to breathe with an oxygen tank.

Practice over, we went right to the top of the 20 storied Gopura next to the temple to watch the sunset. And we made it juuuuuust in time, of course it was a little packed with locals to we had to make do with a squeezy bit of orange through the window for a sun. And what would a trip to the seaside be without 'Fish Naked Fry' and Crab Masala for dinner? (And silly people who will never fail to make jokes about it? I swear after we heard 'Fish Naked Fry' the giggles went on for an hour.)

On the second day, we were up early to get our equipment and get onto the boat for the one and a half hour boat ride to Netrani island from the shore.

Ladies and gentlemans, here's a tip: ANTI SEA SICKNESS PILLS DO NOT WORK. Neither does nimbu. Or smelling an orange peel. This coming from the girl who spent majority of the boat ride with her tongue hanging out of her mouth and her head glued to the edge of the boat despite trying all of the above. The only thing that works is not eating.

Vomititious, it was.

But once we got there, strapped on our gear and began, it made up for the discomfort by a million gazillion times.

The scuba diving was happening one at a time, so the rest of us who weren't doing that grabbed our snorkels and dove into the sea. At the risk of sounding cheesy, I'm going to say I felt a little bit like the Queen of the Ocean surveying the going on's from waaay up above. It was like watching a busy city from the clouds. There was fish-traffic, coral-buildings, and an occasional big blue policeman fish or two. Eels hiding in the coral waiting for unsuspecting tiny fish to swim into their mouths, Stonefish attached to the coral that I would have missed except that someone else pointed it out to me, schools of tiny silver fish that would all change direction in a snap with the movement of your hand. And so much more!

Going scuba diving is just one step ahead from snorkeling. While snorkeling, you stay on the surface and just watch, but while scuba diving, you actually get to go down into the area you've been surveying and oh man, it is so worth it! I was one of the last to go, and a little hesitant originally because I was a little tired from all the alternating sea sickness and snorkeling, but two minutes into the depths and I was hooked.

Fish of a hundred different shapes, sizes and colors everywhere I looked, a large angelfish that followed me and that I found staring at me inquisitively every time I turned around. Sea Cucumbers, anemone, and the most gorgeous colors ever, especially with the sunlight filtering through the top of the sea. The coral: so much better than watching the Discovery Channel!

This is a weird comparison, but they looked like little tame kittens. I wanted to pet them all.

It is a little scary when you're down there and you suddenly realise you're hooked onto an oxygen tank and some extremely heavy gear, and if it malfunctions you're slightly.. um.. dead...but the divers train you well before you get into the sea, and also, the universal rule is that nobody dives alone, you always have a partner, no matter how experienced you may be, so that's comforting.

The water pressure creeped me out at the start because I thought I'd come up with a nose bleed for sure, but, nope. I was longer underwater than the other beginners and nothing happened. I was also worried that my mask would fill up with water and I wouldn't be able to purge it, because I couldn't really do it in the pool, but I tried it 2 minutes into the sea and it was so much easier. So yes, I had great vision under the sea because I could wear my lenses and go! The other basic thing they make sure you learn is how to grab onto your mouth piece again if you drop it : you stuff in into your mouth, purge it of water and start sucking oxygen again; a little weird the first time around because to begin with, you are only breathing with your mouth and if you don't purge the mouthpiece and just suck, you get a mouthful of water instead of air, and I guarantee you will panic a bit especially if you're ten feet below the surface of the sea.

So anyway, I recommend you all try this if you're not on medication, not trying to get pregnant, don't have any blood pressure issues, don't have sudden panic attacks and are generally all-round healthy.

Anyway, here's to Murdeshwar and meeting some people of quality.Two of 'The ladies', who are married and have wives, and two more real ladies, one whom I couldn't help but fall in love with the minute she gave me a \m/ sign underwater when, and also because she snorkeled with me, and the other was kind of a floozy but I give her points for having the courage to actually go through with it, because IT IS INTIMIDATING especially when you're not even a swimmer.

All of you should try it, just so that you can ask existential questions after :) Totally worth the sunburnt back. :D

How to be a Bitch on the Interwebz

2011-02-16T18:17:00.000+05:30

Join Twitter and follow me. :P

Fear Knot

2011-02-13T15:19:00.000+05:30

A wise friend of mine told me the other day in the midst of one of my psychotic tantrums directed at The Ex, that the things people fear most of all in their heart of hearts is what ends up happening to them anyway.

It took me all of five seconds to pronounce that statement my new way of making my life change: to dig out all my deepest fears, to accept them, and finally, to make sure I act so I minimise chances of them coming true.

Here are my main fears:
1. Being less educated that I expected.
2. Not having enough courage to let go of something I know is bad for me.

And in the spirit of sending out nothing but positivity into the universe, I am going to tell you what it is I AM going to try to get back:

1. People who mean what they say.
2. Fun people who do things with their lives.
3. People who genuinely care.
4. People who laugh.

And here's where you wish me luck, because these aren't very easy to come across.

The Horror

2011-01-15T19:49:00.002+05:30

In the spirit of doing at least one new thing a month, I decided to watch a horror movie on the big screen. The last movie that I watched in the theatre that scared me was Speed. The intense pressure and drama was enough of a scarring experience for me to never bother with a horror movie. And it wasn't even horror!

Since none of the boys would come with me, the only one I could rope with was the dah-ling Priya who is THE MOST sporting person I have ever met.

This is half a review because this move SUCKED SO HARD. (I will also admit I decided to watch it only because I knew it wasn't that scary.)

Paranormal Activity 2 #TotalFAIL.

Incapable of giving even me nightmares, this snooze fest is too slow for anyone to get the heebie-jeebies. The first half dragged on with me on the edge of my seat just waiting for the real action to begin. Eventually I just gave up, figuring that the scariest it was going to get was a shadow passing over a sleeping adolescent girl.

The second half was slightly more like what I had expected. Kitchen cupboards flying open, baby being dragged up the side of its crib, noise, a woman being dragged down the stairs a number of times, eventually to be thrown and locked into a closet, woman being possessed and being creepy.

Stupidity and an idiotic string of thought shone like Paris Hilton's Christmas card dress in the part where the family decides to pass the demon onto the sister of the woman. Like, who does that? And why would you even think that you could get away with it, when the demon wants the first born male, and end of the day no matter who the demon posses, you've got the child!

I did love the last ten minutes though. They were scary enough for me to cower behind a large box of popcorn.

Paranormal Activity, like the reviews say, relies heavily on the startling factor more than the scariness factor. Love the part where the sister snaps the husband's neck. Hands down my favourite scene of the movie.

Now since I've run through my alloted quota of bravado, I should probably admit that I probably won't watch a horror movie in the theatre again! I watched the Japanese version of The Ring on tv and I still have nightmares.

*shudder*

Tomorrow I watch turning 30.

Power Play

2011-01-14T11:10:00.001+05:30

Does Power make a man more attractive?

I've always safely assumed all women fell for it, me being no exception.
But apparently its not about real power as much as its about the illusion of power. If the richest, hottest man in the world wasn't just a leetle arrogant about it, he wouldn't be attractive in the least.

This came out of talking to an old friend. One somebody had tried to set me up with aeons ago. He's got skills. But his complete lack of blatant arrogance just made me feel like there was something missing. I have never even regretted the fact that it never went further than a single date.

Give me a man with a swagger, zero humility and the ability to talk business, and I'd be sliding down the floor towards him before you could point him out to me.

So here's your lesson. Want a girl? Be arrogant. Not the asshole-y kind where you pick on waiters and try to prove your superiority, but with an attitude that makes you seem like you're in charge of your own life.

How to bring positivity back

2011-01-12T07:49:00.002+05:30

Being happy is a decision.

There is a point in your life when you eventually get tired of self sympathising, and decide to have a great life irrespective of what you consider oh-so-important troubles. And if you're anything like me, that point will hit you at 6 am when your eyes are glued shut with eye-muck and your body's crying out for Just.One.More.Hour.In.Bed.PUHLEASE. but your cat's sitting on your face, chewing on your ear like she's trying to set the Guinness record holder for gum chewing, sandpaper-tongue-licking-slash-exfoliating your nose and yowling because she wants to be fed.

Whenever I'm that miserable, I make a list of 6 quality things that would make me happy, and I try to do at least 2 of them.

Like:

1. Painting
2. Playing with the cat
3. Reading a totally frivolous murder mystery
4. Learning about a new song/band
5. Catching up with an old friend
6. Organising

The lists change. For example, right now I'm WTF-ing at no. 6 on my list.

What do you do?

Pirates have Parrots

2010-11-22T21:42:00.002+05:30

And I haz a Toffee.

Right now her hobbies include: climbing into my shirt when I am asleep, attempting to 'kill' my hand, and pouncing on Sam, my netbook, out of jealousy. So yes, if anything happens to Sam while I am out of the house, she might die VERY SOON.

I am also glad to report that Ziggy seems to be doing OK despite the leg :)

Right now she's got my dad in her little paw, what with all the cuddling up and purring.

What is it with female cats and men?

Confucious say Broken Leg on Kitteh Equals Many Scars on Caretakers' Hands.

2010-11-17T16:11:00.004+05:30

You've all read about Ziggy and the monkey madness that's been going on at my house, haven't you? I'm assuming you follow my Twitter handle.

To cut a long story short, Ziggy has been attempting to chase away all monkey intruders from my house.

Well, Ziggy The Super Awesome did something a couple of days ago that was totally befitting her title. She decided to chase a squirrel on the terrace wall, and slipped and fell four floors down.

My last cat did that too. She died.

But Ziggy survived. She only has a complicatedly broken leg. And (not as a result of the fall) a uterus that was completely pus-filled and has poisoned her bloodstream a little bit. Which they luckily found today as they were getting her spayed and fixing her leg.

She is currently at Cessna Veterinary Hospital which, by the way, might be a slightly fancier place than usual, but I would take all my future pets there. So much better than my last vet who had a toothy grin, and unsterilized tables.

Anyway, I'm back in my empty room trying to work up the nerve to put away all the cat paraphernalia. And I can't help but pine for her and hope she doesn't die on the operating table; if only for the sake of the numerous people who love her and who she's stayed with.

People who've never had pets always wonder what the big fuss is about. But you have to have had unconditional love to know. Cats aren't messy and OTT like dogs. They aren't going to wag their tails and drool and jump onto you the minute you get home. But when you're going through a hard time and crying in your sleep, and you feel something lick up your salty tears and then a warm furriness settling into the crook of your arm, you realize they know a lot more about you than you thought.

p.s. - We met two funny sick kitties at the vet's. One was a tiny baby kitteh who just wanted to be petted and wouldn't shut up after that. And the other was a handsome glossy jet-black fellow with a wound on his hindquarters who decided he wanted in on the action when he saw that the baby was getting petted.
p.p.s. - Also, there was a gorgeous ginger and white cat that I was dying to kidnap. Google tells me the breed was a Maine Coon. Anybody know anyone who has kittens for sale?
p.p.p.s. - YES I INTENTIONALLY MISSPELL KITTEN AS KITTEH. HAVE YOU PEOPLE NEVER HEARD OF LOLSPEAK? (Visit icanhascheezburger.com for lessons on kittehs, walruses, bukkits and lolspeak).

Recipe for 2010

2010-11-13T17:01:00.002+05:30

Prepare a base of uncertainty and hope. Onto that pour:

7 months without a real job (2 happy, 5 unhappy)
11 months of being in constant emotional turmoil
6 months of weight gain
2 months of weight loss
11 months of failure to grow
a month of happiness for a favourite cousin's wedding
a week of joy for a new baby to torture
a month of love for a borrowed kitten
5 months of mental peace gotten at the gym
6 fortnights of sleeping no later than 10 pm most days
3 months of laughter
a failed trip to Ladakh
9 months of slowly losing oneself
5 weeks of finding oneself in the dustbin
2 months of sympathising with friend
one failed move to Mumbai
8 months of soul-shredding fights
one failed college admission
2 bad haircuts
3 months of pure unaldulterated bliss
3 months of deep depression
half a year of embarrassing oneself in front of everybody one knows
a month of regaining dignity

Mix as required. Add tears and laughter according to taste.

Bake for about 11 months till the crust is just about healed.
Serve with a generous helping of drama!

The name is Stardust

2010-11-05T22:30:00.002+05:30

Ziggy Stardust.

Everybody meet Ziggy. She's the cat of an acquaintance. I have been taking care of... well... she has been taking care of me for about four weeks now, and I think we've finally settled into each other's routines.

I yell 'Ziggy!' she ignores me. I rattle her food dabba and she comes running. That sort of stuff.

Ziggy's first act as a newcomer to the family was to seduce the men. Which meant extra purring and rubbing their feet and demanding attention till I was quite insulted by the brush off. Then I realised she was in heat so I thanked my stars I was female and that she mostly stayed away from me.

She answers to pretty much anything when its said in the right tone: Kitten, Monkey, Pookie, Zigness, Moron, Fatty. Although I can swear that she's given me the evil eye a couple of times when I've called her Fatty.

Anyway Zigmoron deserves a super big portion of chin rubs because about 2 weeks into her stay she managed to figure out that I like my feet warmed at night and now creeps under my blanket every night to do her duty as purring hot water bottle. Also, she's affectionate for a kitten. She purrs when I'm feeling sad and makes sure she's sitting next to me. I think that's also because she gets petted extra when I'm sad.

Anyway, Hello to Ziggy everyone. And goodbye as well. I think she should be going back soon. Which is sad because the men in my family have now fallen in love with her. Awwwwwwww.

BONUS PHOTOGRAPH: Kitten playing with a bee. I was watching in the slightly sadistic hope she might get stung and I might have something to laugh about. 'Course I will grudgingly admit she was too smart to let that happen. :(

When life doesn't go as planned

2010-10-29T11:40:00.002+05:30

Yes, cliche' title. Yes, cliche' subject.

I have always been insecure about my opinions on things in life. But if there has always been one thing I knew I had down pat, it was love. I always just *knew* I'd be with the right person, I always just *knew* that my relationship would be one that people envied. And no matter what else in life I failed at, I was arrogantly confident knowing that what I would have would just be 'it'.

*shakes head* Of course it went in completely the opposite direction.

I don't mean for this to be a slanderous post in any way. I'm just a little worried about
a. My own judgement
b. The unfortunately large role luck has to play in this.

Surely one of you has had to go through this? I can't have been the only one!

a. My own judgement.
How do you know if you should be with someone? Can you ever safely assume that if a person has been working with you at an unnaturally close emotional promity (come on, with 3+ women in their room spilling their guts abt their most intimate issues for a good portion of every day there is a slim to none chance of not picking up on at least who a person is, even if you don't really talk apart from work), that they will not hurt you in the ways you've mentioned would hurt you most?

When do you know when to stop giving people chances? Surely it is the first major slip up?
No?
Then surely it is the 10th major slip up?
No?
How about the 70th?
How do you know when to stop looking the other way when someone is disrespecting you?
Is it when they accuse you of flirting with other men? Nah, can't be. Everybody goes through this, don't they?
Is it when you decide to make a new start and now they accuse you of sleeping with other men every second day?
(Really? What kind of psycho thinks that way?)

The worst part is that I tried, I REALLY did, to find a man who I didn't have to explain everything to. Also I've never really been exposed to this kind of low class thinking. There was obviously a reason this boy was never near my radar in college.

Moral of the story? You can never tell how a relationship will go, no matter what your precautions. But learn to get out earlier.

Sigh. So exhausting.

W-E-DING-DING-I-N-G

2010-09-19T16:29:00.001+05:30

I love weddings. Period.
Its probably because I haven't been invited to too many yet - not many of my friends are married - and my family isn't super large. So when we do bring out the wedding finery, it is done with much, well, noise, more than anything else.

My cousin AB is finally getting married. His sister SD got married last year - she being the oldest among us has had to lead the way for many a thing - boyfriends, fancy haircuts, getting her eyebrows threaded and finally, the big punjabi wedding.

So my cousin is getting married to a German girl, D. D's travails to India for the past few years must have been eye-opening in the least. One of my very talented younger cousins, N, had, at one trip to Delhi, begun to teach her how to squat in an Indian style toilet - upto the point of telling her exactly when to release her bodily waste. On other occasions, she's learn to stuff her foot into a chudidar after slipping her foot into a plastic bag first so that it slips up easily, dealt with a hairdresser from Nasik who was too afraid to touch her hair, and, I can imagine, various other incidents that she has been too delicate to mention. (Although what topic she could consider 'delicate' after the toilet thing, I cant imagine!)

My dream is to make her eat a golguppa :D

Anyway.. oh I forgot the point of this post. :)

*excitement excitement*

Oh yes. I love my family Velly Smelly Much.

Breaking Up is hard to do

2010-09-14T11:03:00.002+05:30

So I've been going through this ridiculously long drawn-out break-up (which seems to have lasted longer than the relationship itself) and I have to say it is a pain in the arse.

In all my 23 years, this has been my first relationship with a boy. Like, a romantic one. Which doesn't mean I haven't dated..but a relationship is a whole different ballgame altogether.

So here are a few words of advice: ALWAYS drag the 'dating' period on for as long as you possibly can! :) And seriously, girls, have standards you stick to!

I'm a little thrown off because usually I don't bother with people who aren't a tick-mark in at least 6-7 boxes... and I didn't expect my fool-proof system to fail... but it did.

Technically all the boxes seemed to be ticked with this one...

Know the boy for a long time? Check.

Screamed at him? Check.

Fights? Check.

Parties? Check.

Friends? well, a couple.. check.

Shown him crazy cat lady side? Check.

I didn't have to initiate anything? Check.

Sense of humor? Check.

But boys... will be boys.

So I've been heartbroken for a while, of course. And yes, all these extra emotions are turning me quite crazy. Crazier than I have ever been and angrier than I have ever been. And may I just say, revenge is a dish best served hot. But I think I can finally let go now. Its not really that hard or that big a tragedy, when you think about it logically.

So, I'm going to end this with two more important things I've learnt:

1. If you don't like a boy for who he is... don't expect to change him.

2. Don't ever get stuck with a man who stops you from being you.

Now that we're done with that, where have all the hot men disappeared in the past 8 months?

The Princess and the Frog

2010-03-14T23:06:00.005+05:30

There's something to be said for fairytale romances! Because life is totally brilliant when you're living out one. :)

The Princess and the Frog.

I've been wanting to see this one ever since the trailers came out on youtube. Finally a Disney film where the main protagonist is black. And no, I swear my wanting to see this film was not influenced either by

a) The fact that there is a Prince 'Naveen' (from Maldonia, not India)

b) The Princess' name - Tiana "Tia"

Go watch! Its been a while since there was a 2D animated release, and I think they've done a pretty decent job. Its better than the other ones because its quicker, sharper dialogue, smoother flow.

Plus the songs in this movie are really good! Great lyrics, great tune - popped up jazz, but very catchy, not too babyish. I really think you'd like this one even if you are an adult.

Can I give you a spoiler though? I bet The Boi a hundred bucks that they would remain frogs.

Damn you , Disney, and your love for Perfect endings.

Paa -ss the Popcorn, please!

2009-12-07T01:07:00.005+05:30

Rating! I haven't done one in a while - 3.5 on 5

Warning: Spoiler Alert

Watch Paa for the costumes, for Abhishek Bachchan. But most of all, watch Paa for the dialogues!

So Paa is the story of a 13 year old boy with Progeria.

(Short and sweet today because I am SO tired!)

'Paa' can tend to get a little formulaic and filmy at times - the 7 rounds/the politician taking over a DD show. Blah.

But ignore that, and you've got a film worth watching, if only because of the touching honesty in the relationship between a 13 yr old boy and his mother and grandmother. He calls his grandmother 'bum', his primary language is English. He's tech-savvy(thank God!). He is wry and hilarious. His comments make you roll in the aisle, that is, if you've known a 13 yr old kid - because they are SO true to his character. And you know the best part for me? That they used the 'bum blast' joke! People, I HAVE HEARD THIS JOKE AND REPEATED IT WHEN I WAS 13! IT IS A FRICKIN LEGEND!

Also, Auro talks about bums and potty and all the general things which are, finally, so normal to hear about. I hate how movies like to skip over these things and I'm so surprised that someone finally decided to tell the truth.

And I love Vidya Balan. Why don't men understand that actual women are like this and not like over-eager little puppy dogs, panting hard and trying to please you but just leaving a lot of irritating drool all around?

(Ok I'm sorry, I'm letting go of a little emotional baggage here. But you guys know who I'm talking about because I've complained enough about it. And I've had this problem throughout college AND it still exists. Bravo. Someone save me from having to meet these women. They depress me because they're so mindfucked.)

So go watch Auro! Ignore my rants about my personal life! And I apologise for the laziness. Next review will be a blast, I promise!

Wake Up Sid!

2009-10-05T20:50:00.005+05:30

First of all I HAVE to tell you about the unfortunate demise of the head honcho of Trump It Entertainment and Creative Services(which as most of you DON'T know, is the name of the place I work for. Yes, I work. Really.) Gina Braganza.

Here's the bottom line. Gina was awesome. Gina was wonder-woman. And if I could ever do as much as Gina had done in her life I'd be the happiest person in the world.

So Rest In Peace, Gina. You'll never know how much you inspired an irreverent brat who you never thought was any good at what she does. I would have liked you to meet me in 10 years - just so that you realise that that faith wasn't wasted on someone who will do nothing with her life.

Now, lovers, enough about my personal life and what's happening in it, because you don't really care about it, and I don't care for you to know either.

Lets talk about Wake Up Sid.

You consider me a rather bitchy nutjob, but at least a friend, don't you? So be honest. When you first heard about the two leads in the film, didn't you go 'Whaaa? No. It'll never work.'

No?

Then you're more forgiving. I however, did.

Ranbeer Kapoor? Konkona Sen Sharma? My favouritest boy-toy on the market, the term 'favouritest' (and yes, I know that isn't a real word) being influenced hugely by the fact that he has an 'axe' (very very sexy) behind, and the most irritating average actress in the whole wannabe-Indie Hindi movie scene - together? Opposite each other? Whaaaaaaaat?

No. No. NO.

But don't be so hasty. After this movie, I will have complete faith in new directors, especially ones like Ayan Mukherji. No more doubt. I will open my mind to new experiences. (To be honest I wanted to insert a very NSFW metaphor here which included being ridden like a...well, lets just stop here because whether I like it or not I have family looking at this blog to which I would like to say - please don't. I can't be myself without wondering who is going to jump on me for saying what.)

The plot - well, there isn't much of it. The realism - well, with Aisha making her filthy empty apartment a designer one on... what? 30 thou a month? (also I will swear on my mother's fan shaped porcelain earrings that she was wearing Jimmy Choos or a designer equivalent in one scene) - there isn't much of that either. The novelty factor - erm, the less said about THAT, the better.

Then what, you ask, dear reader, is all the hoo-haa about?

If you would ask me what the main reason is that I love Ranbeer Kapoor, I would tell you that besides the fact that he has a FABULOUS derriere, he has the ability to make the best out of his idiotic roles. Not that this one was idiotic. I liked his character. Because that would be me. And I swear to God, the fight he has in his house with his father before leaving is a fight I have had with my father many many times.

Konkona's character was also believable. In fact, every single character was believable except for Kashmira Shah's. Have you ever had a neighbour who dresses like that in Mumbai and who isn't a prostitute? If you have please tell me and I will retract this.

However, I am sorry Konkona, but must you do every film of yours as the same woman? The pretty-but-not-gorgeous, insightful, loving, caring, surprisingly talented and subtly womanly darling? Because I am bored of you. Except for Aaja Nach Le where I loved you as a sniffling dirty brat. And honey, I watched that interview of yours on KJo's new show on Zoom(no I don't know what its called because I don't really watch TV, but I'm sure its something like Kuch Tum Kaho, Kuch Hum Kahein which incidentally the title of a very cheesy Fardeen Khan movie which I promise you I haven't watched.) where he asks you if you think you were like the character you played and you said 'no'. Babe. Don't lie to your public. We see through all of it. You are Aisha.

And the chemistry, and there is some, was good! At some point I had my hands in the air cheering on for them to go ahead and Do it, already! But they didn't. No kiss also. Why must you torture me so? I know Ranbeer can kiss, ok! I watched him in Bachna Ae Haseeno with Deepika Padukone and that kiss was ssssmokin! The fact that it was the only ssssmokin thing in the whole film is another story altogether so lets not go there.

But alriiiiiiiiight I will harness my wild emotions and tell you the rest of it.

Great Art Direction. Every single thing in that movie is beautiful, and somehow very simply. Except for Konkona's apartment which is complicatedly trying to achieve a simple look.

I don't like to give away spoilers in my reviews so no more plot. Rating - 4 on 5. Ok, now go away! There's a lot more I want to say about this but I've exceeded my word limit!

Dil Bole Hadippa

2009-09-27T00:55:00.003+05:30

Ok, that is just an ugly poster.

Today I was feeling VERY Bollywood and thought of going and catching 'What's your Rashee?'. Eh, I'm a big Priyanka Chopra fan. (At least there's ONE actress who carries off short hair with panache!) So yes, reasons, excuses, blah blah, ended up going for this instead. I must say I really didn't want to watch this one at all despite the fact that Shahid was in it, and he has actually done some good films off-late! Please, counteract that one positive point with the fact that it was associated with:

a) Yash Raj Films! Noooooo! I cannot sit through another Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gam!

b) Rani Mukherji. Nyeah. I never found her good/bad/cutesy etc. She was just... meh.

Well. I think I might have cultivated a tiny bit of respect for her in my cynical, barren, snobby mind! She really manages to do justice to her part as a boy!

Granted, the fake beard/moustache were of some really bad quality. I'll agree, the movie was a little preachy. So MAYBE there was a fair amount of overacting, and waaaaay too much colour-co-ordination going on with the background extras. And I'll even admit, it was too wannabe Punjabi and had the usual DDLJ references and boy-wooing girl crap.

But I'll also draw attention to the fact that this WAS a real mischievous movie, not just some low-standard crap trying to garner a few laughs with perverted jokes. There were some genuinely funny moments. I like that they tried to give Rakhi Sawant an actual part. And I loved that Rani didn't fall for Shahid till the very end. (I actually just loved her wardrobe more than all of this rubbish... buuuuut that's unrelated.)

So it's a rip-off. But a valiant effort. I'll give it 3. Just because it is watchable, and you won't come out feeling like you wasted your money.

And now I will gracefully exit before my evil, opinionated, freshly-bitch-manicured fingers start typing out EXACTLY what I thought of the place that Rani works at, that RIDICULOUS India-Pakistan match, and the dragging Oh-God-Please-Get-Over-Soon-Before-I-Strangle-Myself runtime. I'll even gloss over her silly Jhansi Ki Rani/Indira Gandhi women empowerment speech.

See? I'm not always opinionated!

The Ugly Truth isn't.

2009-09-12T23:49:00.004+05:30

Isn't what, you ask?

Why, Ugly of course. Or truthful. Between Katherine Heigl attempting an orgasm scene in a restaurant(is it possible to have an orgasm simply with vibrating underwear and no dildo? Or were they trying to make the movie family-safe? Because it isn't.) and Gerald Butler trying to look like a dashing candidate for love, it is on the whole, kind of a Fail. I mean, Mew Ryan PWNS the orgasm scene.

But lets be truthful here. There are times where genuine chemistry shines through. Katherine Heigl is gorgeous in a very natural way, despite a collection of some shitty flicks under her belt (Knocked up, 27 Dresses, uuuuuurrrrgh). And Gerald... why hell-o, sexy caveman. I'd do him anyday. Despite the weirdly proportioned face and the fact that I hated him in the Phantom of the Opera.(I just counteract that with 'Madness??!! THIS. IS. SPARTA!!!!') Hawt.

And yes, sexy make-out scene, and there is only one that is remotely sexy, I'll give it to them for the elevator.

My rating? 3 on 5. Because there is some real humour in there. And I really didn't dislike it. Anyway I'm tired of everybody giving intense movies a higher score. Because comedy is a hundred times harder than intense. So come on Katherine and Gerald. You're both gorgeous people, with wonderful personalities, and one with a baby, even. Can you please crawl out of this burrow of formula that you've dug for yourselves and show us what you're all about? Because I love you, truly, but the cruel world is less forgiving.

Moving is fun when it's without the boxes

2009-09-12T23:25:00.003+05:30

So yes, listen, for non-movie purposes, I've moved here.

I hate Livejournal. If it didnt work for me 4 years ago, it ain't gonna work now :P

Go there and worship me, honey-bunnies.

Love and Kisses XOXO.

Coraline.

2009-07-29T23:47:00.003+05:30

Anybody who likes the idea of an alternate universe is bound to fascinated by this movie.

The first half went charmingly well, as you fall in love with characters like Wybie(Why Born - Wyborne) and Coraline, the crazily easy-to-imagine Mister Bobbinsky and Miss Spink and Miss Forcible(French and Saunders! Screech!). Coraline finds a door to the 'other' house with her 'other' Mother and Father who are only distinguished by the fact that they have buttons for eyes.

The second half, well, meh. It just reminded me of this computer game that I used to play growing up, and I suspect that any child will probably get the very same delicious chill creeping up their spine from watching Coraline that I used to get playing Escape from Horrorland, but its been done before, y'know? (In my case and with reference to the computer game - Escape from Horrorland was the shyte - if you were into 'Goosebumps'! Whoop whoop, Windows '97!)

So back to the movie.

I dislike Dakota Fanning in general, so she was passable. I do, however, adore Teri Hatcher and I think she did an awesome job. At no point in this movie will you feel bored, because the stop-motion is so fluid and realistic that its hard to believe they've achieved it without using something like Rotoscoping.

Go watch it for the cat. I loved how the purring was so realistic.

Also, cool opening song. Listen to the words.

The Cake Eaters

2009-07-26T12:43:00.004+05:30

I'm getting used to doing short and simple thanks to Twitter. So, quite simply, the Cake Eaters isn't much.

Kristi Stewart was ok. But um, the only reason I was glad I watched this movie was because of the soundtrack which is far superior.

Watch to listen, if you must. Thanks@Man.U. for the link :)

http://www.imeem.com/people/NWV7cd_/music/PuWKATDA/lauren-pritchard-as-shadows-do/

Rent

2009-07-26T11:33:00.005+05:30

A musical is like an ex-boyfriend who you know was bad for you, but whose arms you gladly run back into, just because he knows you so well.

So I watched Rent! Right, its official. If psychologists only prescribed musicals instead of therapy, the world would be a much happier place.

My only problem is that it subsequently disappoints me that people don't sing to each other during the course of a normal conversation.

Rosario Dawson was quite gorgeous. I mean, if you're going to cast people in a musical, at least cast someone like her who can sing(remember that mess they made of Mamma Mia? NOBODY could sing!). Look out for 'Out tonight' and 'Light My Candle'!

They've got 6 of the original cast members reprising their roles here. Well, I also only partly downloaded this because it had Idina Menzel. Why would someone like her do an 'Enchanted'? She had no singing in that at all. And what's the point of being in a musical if you aren't singing?

(Confession: what in the world was her 'piece' at the protest? Self-indulgent and ridiculous.)

Wilson Jermaine Heredia is so adorable as Angel! Biased if you've ever seen him in Flawless and have a soft spot for drag queens.

Basically a great movie because it's so tight and you enjoy every bit of it. Every song has such pleasing simple harmony and you can't help but laugh, cry and sing along when the characters are doing it themselves.

This is my new 'Across the Universe'!

Slumdog Millionaire

2009-01-13T13:34:00.002+05:30

I think my favourite scene in the movie is this one - the protagonist as a small child jumps into a pond of human waste and runs out covered in aforementioned, just to get an autograph of Amitabh Bachchan. Is that subtly meant to be equating the two ? ;) Everyone around me was 'eww'-ing and 'gross'-ing. I think that after all the hoo-haa has settled, that might actually become one of the most famous scenes from the movie! But so far the only thing crossing my mind in this sub-section of the movie is, what did they use to make the excreta look so realistic? I'm really curious! If anybody has an idea you're welcome to tell me!

Finally, a good laugh!

2008-12-09T18:30:00.014+05:30

R on 'Barkha Dutt having her orgasmic news realisations'

Hahahahaha!!!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I came across the Sitayana again today. Having blogged about it a couple of years ago (ok so I just mentioned it so that I wouldn't forget) when it was still being made, I'm glad to see that it was actually completed and screened this year!

I need to find a copy of the full thing, its outright adorable and total feminist-fun. Just depressing that its NOT, after all, going to released on DVD, because the cartoonist Nina Paley is bound to get into all sorts of trouble for demoralising Hindu Gods. Really sad. Here's the promo -

What I do when the madness seizes me.

2008-12-05T18:09:00.006+05:30

I discovered a passion for Kandinsky. Because something about his paintings make sense. And there's geometry, but its still complex. And colourful. So I decided to try Upward. Granted, my copy will be extremely terrible given that I have had no real art education except for those classes I used to go for when I was 11, and even then, all she taught me were oil pastels.

So, hopefully I'll finish it in the next 2 days. The copy that I began with though, was this :

And then I discovered that the actual print looks like this :

Talk about change in colour! However, I still prefer image no 1. This is as far as I've gotten anyway, so I still have the option of changing, but I dont want to:

And there are some major mistakes which are suddenly becoming very apparent to me, so I suppose I'll give it 4 days including the damage control.

But before that, an update on my Girl who has been lying out of shame under a pile of books for the past year and a half or so. I finally fixed her. Originally after pondering over her for more then a week, I remember getting highly frustrated and painting blue and green circle-y things where the skies should be a' la Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. They were REALLY ugly. And in the process I managed to smudge blue on her hair, the sand, the pole, everything. So since my brush was blue anyway, I did some damage control, fixed the sky, sharpened her image and now, I'll let her dry till I can actually think of something to do with her which dont require skills better than mine.

Ah it feels good to be back amongst my messy oils.

More than a week..

2008-12-05T18:02:00.003+05:30

..and people are going around blaming the media for being irresponsible. I agree that in some instances they have been irresponsible, but I still find it odd that the people who are complaining about the media are the ones who are sitting comfortably in their houses, and being hypocrites. I believe that only a person who has consciously been 'responsible' in a situation where he/she claims that the other has been irresponsible, is one that can be taken seriously. I don't think there are many of those around.

So I still am on the side of the Indian media. Well, at least the ones who have not treated this tragedy like a soap opera.

Dasvidaniya

2008-11-22T16:49:00.005+05:30

My rating - 3 on 5

I am sick of 'bittersweet' being the only word used to describe this movie! What is with the rest of the reviewers in India? Have they an even more limited vocabulary than I do? (which is good, this signals that I might just get my dream job. Hah!)

Certainly didn't dislike. I mean, if you overlook the few parts that were totally unnecessary, like the Alter-Ego's 'asides', those annoyed me. I mean, give us, as the audience SOME credit, we can usually figure out the obvious things without them being explained to us! And while any song dedicated to 'mumma' is guaranteed to be well-loved by the audience even if the tune is really weird, there was something genuine in this one. Still, liked but didn't love.

Erm, be warned, you may die of emotional overload. It was a little rough around the edges, not quite a classic, but totally worth a watch.

oh P.S. - I didn't think the girl could act. The Russian one.
And the Alter-Ego's appearance was unnecessary. It just turned into a caricature with no real contribution towards the movie. Like, seriously, wouldn't it have just been nicer if all this was unsaid by him but just acted out with one of those silent, knowing smiles? I think it would have been understood just as well.

Grumble.

2008-11-18T12:18:00.002+05:30

fjghtuhjk.

gah.

Dostana

2008-11-16T18:42:00.008+05:30

Rating - 2.5 on 5

Comments -
1st Half - I'm too busy laughing my head off to comment on it!
2nd Half - I (wish I had) walked out of the movie hall midway so that I'd have no reason to be negative.

Consistency doesn't exist, does it?

First the Good - This movie is a brilliant pick-me-upper. I went in with a healthy dose of cynicism, expecting even the funny to be unfunny, but when Kirron Kher says 'phalo, phoolo... khair... chodo', even the most grumpy cynicial biatch will laugh. First half highly recommended for depressed morons who have no hang-ups with homosexuality
p.s - Romal, I love the song 'maa da laadla' - the original, every time the Punjabi dancers leapt out at Kirron Kher and started dancing chirpily while she was making those 'tragedy' faces, I burst out laughing! Hah! Remix is pretty Dance-able too. I only know this because i was considering asking a cousin to choreograph it for another cousin's wedding, but.. would it be giving out the wrong signals to the groom-to-be? Bwahahahaha!!!
The songs..The first one is really good - Jaane Kyun Dil Jaanta Hai. I have to comment on how great it is, Vishal and Shekhar, yes, maybe V is a sell-out, and the music of OSO really sucked, but this is a REALLY catchy number! One of those Monday Morning songs.
Oh and PC looks good.

The Bad - Time for the section I like to call COPYCAT. Movies/Characters that it has been 'inspired' from -
1.Abhishek Bachchan is JD of Scrubs, including his uniform!
2. Boman Irani is totally 'The Devil Wears Prada's Miranda Priestly. By the way, Karan Johar is doing this knowingly, realising that his characters are going to be recognised, right? I mean, Boman Irani's name is 'M'. M for Murali, M for Miranda. Tribute or just plain laziness?
3. One of the songs has shades of '13 going on 30'. Now this is where KJ just plainly gets lazy! The leaves flying in the wind didn't quite have the same effect, darling. Not when it goes on for 5 whole minutes! Surely by then, she would have ENOUGH sense to walk out of their way, if someone didn't already switch it off?
4. And WHY..you know what, enough with Kuch Kuch Hota Hai! No More!! I don't want to sit through any more f@^&-ing tributes to it! No more SRK-Kajol-rain sequence!

The Ugly -
Boman Irani. Sorry :) That Yellow Tie was Ugly.
Abhishek Bachchan - Gold Tracksuit. Need I say more? (Err..no..I don't secretly covet it! Really! Wait... is that a gold tracksuit ON SALE? Gimme!)
Johnnie Boy - Ah well, I hate to say it, BUTT, sometimes I tire of seeing well-toned male bodies on a large screen. And I thought only women paraded their chests around! No?

Hah, its good timepass :D

Its true that it really is more difficult to make people laugh. And accepting Gay Men in India? Well.. I suppose it is a good attempt.
Ok no, I don't really mean that, what I mean is, did you have to be so goddamn safe? To illustrate my point, no matter how hilarious Abhishek Bachchan is, and no matter how well John Abraham's lack of acting skills are hidden, at the end of the day the two guys aren't REALLY gay. Which I think defeats the point. Its like saying ' Yeah, gay men are OK, but thank God we aren't gay.'
Ridiculous!

Fashion

2008-11-04T12:12:00.002+05:30

Interesting, but don't you think some of it was really stupid, just like in Page 3?

3 on 5

Kangana Ranaut should
a. never open her mouth
b. learn more curse words, one gets tired of hearing 'bastard' all the time.

Mithya, Ugly Aur Pagli

2008-10-19T18:22:00.003+05:30

I think I ought to start a new movie category - 'Why Have I Not Seen This Before?"
Rating - 4 on 5!!

Brilliant movie, or maybe I'm just in the mood to be nice to Ranvir Shorey.
Love plot, love acting, love background score.
Hate Neha Dhupia's semi-item at the beginning.
One might think that the 'look-alike' angle might be overused, but it works in this movie (aargh, my vocab is so limited, its not funny).
I really liked this one, with Rajat Kapoor's directing, and much of the same people involved, I think it was actually better than Bheja Fry.
(Also way better than Taare Zameen Par in terms of direction, camerawork, dialogue. But then TZP has the big advantage - thanks to the invincible 'Social Message' factor.)

---------------oOo---------------

Ugly Aur Pagli
2 on 5
Erm,
I'm not sure if I can be trusted to rate this one sanely since I had my PG owner's two grandchildren sitting on either side of me and saying.. 'but, isnt this an adult movie?'. Alright, missies precocious, there's a reason I closed the door! But I guess you can watch the movie along with me but I'm not answering any questions related to sex!
Anyway its NOT an 'adult' movie'(Can any hindi movie except Kamasutra and those B Grade blue films really be 'adult'? Not that I'm complaining..)
It really wasn't that bad. Mallika Shrawat looked like a typical Mumbai chick - the type I see on the local (yes, really).
And, yeah, it was quite passable! I rather enjoyed it, actually. Its just not genius, thats all.

I want to see

2008-10-18T18:54:00.000+05:30

KARZZZZZZZ!!!

Its got Himesh! Nasal tone and all! Whee!!!

Once

2008-10-18T18:25:00.002+05:30

1. This is a musical
2. About musicians!
Drool.

I suspect I actually liked this movie because I've heard 'falling softly' on the radio too many times without actually knowing who sang it. And of course, because of my theory that musicals in which you know the words to the songs are awesome :D
Either way, songs are great, for some reason, they fit with me because I'm used to a piano and guitar being the only 'in-reach' instruments, and love harmonies, whee!
Yes there were the standard cultural problems, but overall, you 'get' the feeling! SO refreshing to see another 'mad artiste' movie that is completely in denial of the fact that even arty talent nowadays is corporatised. Sigh :). Cathartic, makes me miss the madness.

Jaane Tu, Being Jane

2008-10-15T18:15:00.005+05:30

Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na

erm, 2.5 on 5. Because-
1. Genelia's voice annoys me.
2. It was funny, but unreal. And I hate giving unreal Indian movies good ratings(unless they're openly unreal like Saawariya. And that movie WAS good, goddamit! To be fair, there's only so much you an do while Indianising Dostoevsky, yes?)
Oh.
To get back on track.
I mean, what kind of dumb girl would pretend that she isn't in love with who she's in love with, and pretend to be smart, but still agree and want to get married to some random stranger right out of college? Is it just my Bangalore Cynicism, or is there a contradiction there?
3. I have to agree with all the 'real' critics, so many of the characters were underdeveloped. They would have been more fun had the movie dwelt on their stories, and not on the story of that silly girl who they're telling the story to. Even a lot of IK's girlfriend, and her silly 'whats this?' game. Blech.
4. Ratna Pathak Shah, saving grace as usual.
5. Paresh Rawal also was hilarious!
Eh..nice movie :) Funny, LOL-worthy. I wont be mean, because to be honest its very easy to be mean, especially if you havent made a film yourself, ever. And i'll totally avoid talking about how his house looks like a set, and how nobody actually goes to a nightclub on a horse..even in Mumbai, and how there aren't even that any horse drawn buggys in the city, and that its targetting rich urban youth.. yeah, lets just slide right over all of it.

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Being Jane

Yeah, the inevitable 3.
Finally watched! Fell in love with hero again (eh..its a girl thing). And see, I'm not evil about every female actor..Anne Hathaway I usually like. :)

This reminds me of The Jane Austen Book Club and how I really badly want to have one :) And if I were in Bangalore right now, I'd totally start one.

The Accidental Husband, General

2008-10-14T00:12:00.006+05:30

The Accidental Husband-
1. Denny!! Whee!(Shut up and admit it, you loved him in Grey's Anatomy.)
2. 'Indian' really is in, init? Hahahahaha!
(yeah, this movie gets half a star extra because it has a ton of Indian songs as part of the background score.And yes, I take my patriotism highly unrealistically, how would you like yours, monsieur? ;D )
Rating - 2 on 5

Although, Uma Thurman really is annoying when she isn't kicking ass a-la Kill Bill, no?

Welcome To Sajjanpur, Flashbacks of A Fool

2008-10-12T19:44:00.005+05:30

Welcome to Sajjanpur

Just to be noted - I actually saw this movie on the first weekend after it released(this is a big thing for me since i usually catch movies, like, 2 years after they've released.)
Rating - 4 on 5
Ila Arun is brilliant.
First movie after Iqbal that I liked Shreyas Talpade in.
And when Amrita Rao is done behaving like her typical soppy womanly delicate character, maybe we can begin to consider that she might have acting skills. Which is not in this film, sadly.
Loved Munnibhai the Hijra - Brilliant! Ravi Jhankal.
What the hell were Rajeshwari Sachdev and that Bhojpuri man..Ravi Kishen...doing there? useless waste of celluloid space.
Yashpal Sharma as Ramsingh was very good.
Pleasant movie, although I saw the Divya Dutta - Shreyas Talpade union coming right at the beginning. :)

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Flashbacks Of A Fool

Rating - I don't usually like rating English (non-Indian) movies because I don't know how valid my rating must be, but 1 on 5, and an exception here, because I'm curious with this one.

Erm, maybe its the cultural differences, but I didn't get it. At all. Except for the last scene where that woman looks at DC's cheque, and the lines of that Roxy Music song(?) that he's written down, and finally cries at her husband's death. Otherwise... nothing.
Plus, ooh I wanted to include this - The title of this movie was what the subtitle of my life would be immediately after watching it, and pondering if it was really over.(Ok, ok.)
And also, after the first 5-10 minutes of nudity, watched at Gaety Galaxy in Bandra(I REALLY want to change my name to Sandra, lol) which is like a private theatre, and actually reminds me of what theatres in Bangalore used to be like when I was a kid, and before they were torn down, well, after the first few minutes, and when DC walks naked to his shower, and you get to stare at his awesome butt for so long that you now want to see it in some pants, some girl at the back says sardonically "Well, now thats too much of a flashback!". ROTFL. People in Mumbai ARE funny :) !

I suppose I just want to see if this becomes one of this 'critically acclaimed' movies....
:)

The Last Lear

2008-09-17T20:55:00.002+05:30

Rating - 3.75 on 5

Clearly Shefali Shah was the best thing in the movie. And the Big B- well lets just say that I can't believe that Anthony of AAA played a stage actor, quite decently even. Not to say that other characters weren't 'real', because they were, but only because of the writer/director's vision of them. They were nothing in themselves.

Why is it that English dialogue from Indian actors' mouths comes out so unconvincingly? Even if, when I imagine the situation in real life, it seems believeable enough.
And also, Rituparno Ghosh seems to have a strange fascination for living-rooms(remember Raincoat?). But while I didnt think it worked in Raincoat, it definitely worked in this movie. In fact, I think he could scrap the rest of the movie all together, and just keep the living room bits and make a separate movie based on some woman-oriented theme. grin grin.

But the movie worked! Nothing could spoil it for me, not even the girlie-party in the theatre singing ' na na, na na na, na na na' to that Rock On song in the interval.

It has some 'moments' to look out for -

-(after calling a fellow actor a homosexual and being highly politically incorrect about it, Harry) "Well, you wanted my reaction? Here's my reaction. Dont worry, I wont take it back."

-"Oberon?Robin?"
" Robin Hood?"

- AR "Dont make me feel g-(choke)-guilty" (hey that worked ok.)

- Vandana "I tell him, its me V-"(angry tear). Loved!

And, Harry, on Maqbool the clown (mutters) "thank God he's got a name, I was getting tired of hearing 'this man, this man' "

Totally watchable, and totally worked for me!

Rock On

2008-08-30T18:06:00.003+05:30

Rating 3.5 on 5.

Surprisingly decent, surprisingly realistic in many bits. Still is quite silly some places. Definitely an improved attempt from Director Abhishek Kapoor (who last directed....Aryan. Eh? Aryan? Eesh. No matter, we will ignore that disaster, because with this film, he has Tried.)

Arjun Rampal's character+family was the best bit of the movie, very believeable. Especially at the end, where 'tum ho to' is on the radio and wifey-crying-plus-AR-walking-out-of-the-cab happens. Love.

Soundtrack, soundtrack, hmm.. the songs are better live. I can already see them being sung in many a hep college fest. Somehow, I was not impressed by Farhan Akhtar at all. Luke Kenny wasn't bad, but I guessed his story the minute he said 'I have a headache'. Purab Kohli is ROTFL-funny when belting out 'I will survive'. Prachi Desai's TV acting seems to come in quite handy because she manages the 'pained wife who wants to help her husband' role very well. And no, I'm not being sarcastic about her. And Shahana Goswami is just plain brilliant! No debate!

Pleasant! Better 'timepass' than anything I've seen recently (which isn't much anyway :P).

p.s.- that WAS Shaair of Shaair+Func fame in there, wasn't it? The girl has a Voice!

Bachna Ae Haseeno

2008-08-23T19:57:00.002+05:30

Rating 2/5

I have a feeling that Ranbir Kapoor is secretly like that character he plays in Saawariya. And hence he can't help but slip into it quite so often, even if he doesn't do it consciously.

Bachna Ae Haseeno (hereby referred to as BAH, and not by mistake either.) is, time-pass. There are the funny bits in the first half, and brillant parts in some songs (two particularly, Khuda Jaane and that Mujhe Ho Gaya Hai Pyar), but the second half really sucks. I would ordinarily be predisposed to add 1.5 stars because there are 3 actual kisses, but they looked quite uncomfy, and I was getting bored of him trying to do an Emran Hashmi, or worse, become India's answer to Hugh Grant.

Aha! Somehow, you have to wonder whether his relationship with Maahi (Minissha Lamba) wasn't in fact, based on his real life relationship with Sonam Kapoor? In a small way?

Well, anyway, I have a thing for Ranbir Kapoor despite his donkey-voice, so the boy's movies cannot go below 2 stars.

Without the 2 good songs, it'd be a disaster. Bipasha looks really weird. And IRL she looks really old. This I know because they had all come to the studio to promote BAH.

And what is with Deepika saying she's rather win an oscar than an olympic medal? Girl, you were never good enough to win an olympic medal! BAH, you think its going to get you an oscar?

(Sorry, I'm just wildly jealous she got Ranbir before I could set my hands on him, and convince him I really won't be as clingy as Sonam Kapoor once our relationship takes off. Really.)

I forgot to publish the obligatory Happy Birthday to me Post

2008-08-17T18:40:00.000+05:30

Uh, yeah.

:D

(No thanks, I dont think I will grow up.)

Jannat

2008-08-10T18:01:00.004+05:30

Rating - zero!
Sigh. That's the first and last time I watch an Emran Hashmi movie

Notes from the diary of a random Kismet Konnection watcher.

2008-08-10T17:40:00.008+05:30

(Rating - 2 on 5)

-erm.. Raj Malhotra? Bad Start.

-Shahid in the shower? Movie automatically gets one star.

-This guy from Hip Hip Hurray keeps showing up, ya. First in Jannat, then in KK? His Kismet must really be shining.

-"You are a MCP!" First, its AN MCP. Secondly, is that supposed to be the ultimate insult? Vidya, Vidya. (Sanjay Chel, or whoever wrote the script... I mean you.)

- Hate to join the gang of VB- bashers, but her clothes!!! aaaaargh!! Especially two items which require special mention -

a. corset-type worn for engagement song. Yuk.

b. 3/4ths (capris or whatever else you want to call them) worn frequently. nooooo!! They're worse than Hill Road 100/-s! Actually I dont even think HillRoad stocks 100/-'s this bad!

- What is with the 'hair-blowing-in-wind' every time there's a close-up of either of them? Can somebody put off the fan/hairdryer?

- Juhi looks pretty, but is totally wasted.

I feel like this movie had great potential at the beginning. But despite having a likeable star cast, it falls totally flat, and many jokes fail. Plus it has that teribble disease that many-a-hindi-movie suffers from - borrowed ideas/scenes. (in this case, Just My Luck, Life is Beautiful)

Pleasant Timepass. One nice song. But drags at the end. And Boman Irani's role is totally guessable. And is it just me, or have they photoshopped Vidya Balan in the movie's poster(which you can find on Wikipedia)? She looks smaller than Shahid, and she totally isnt!

Iqbal

2008-08-10T17:13:00.004+05:30

Rating 4 on 5

I am aware I am behind times, ok. This is another movie that falls into my 'late' category - like DCH, Chak De, Jaane Bhi Do Yaaron, and Andaaz Apna Apna.
That said, there's a reason I respect Nagesh Kukunoor. Here's an educated yuppie who doesn't believe he's above Hindi films. And more than that, he always has a valid story to tell. 'Iqbal' begins in that familiar Nagesh Kukunoor style - a scene that wants to be believed, but cannot, given the Indian context. For example : when his mother begins to feel the labour pains and the villagers are still dancing around her, oblivious to her pains. Erm.. no, sorry. Not believeable at all. Not even with the excuse of wanting to be artsy.

All in all - wow. Shreyas Talpade is totally wasted in every other film that he's done. Especially crap like OSO.(the TV premier of which I am actually going to go watch on Sony tonight bwahaha. Talk about being contradictory.)

Things I noticed.
I have always found in Naseeruddin Shah some of that Nautanki Spirit that I find familiar. (Sometimes scorn, but I've learnt to live with it). I mean he's got to have it, to have paani chhidkofied on his face so often!
Only his wardrobe was terrible. Signature faded Fabindia shirts and sneakers, for a village drunk? (Even if he WAS formerly in a cricket team..I dont think so!)

But there were a lot of genuinely funny parts. For example, when the sister tells the coach 'maine use kaha hai ki woh samjhe yeh sab bhaise hai' and the coach tries to hide a grin.
Then, the fact that Kamal was a complete Ajay Jadeja look-alike..ROTFL!!
Iqbal wearing a Rin Safedi(meaning blue, thanks to 'neel') outfit amongst players with actual white outfits. Bwahaha.

Totally loved the house.
LOVED the shotes after he gets selected. Perfect, didnt make too much of a fuss, but got the point brilliantly across.

And as for Elahe Hiptoolah and Mr NK. When are they finally going to admit that they're secretly married and are actually revelling in the fact that the media doesnt care enough about them to dig up the dirt?

Honeymoon Travels, Khosla Ka Ghosla

2008-08-03T11:32:00.009+05:30

Time for my favourite lament - WHY have I not seen these movies before?

Honeymoon Travels - 3.75 on 5

is one of those movies that you think is quite silly when it starts off. But as you slowly get into the hang of things, you begin having fun.

Surprisingly decent performances - Diya Mirza, Ameesha (Patel or not?)

Surprisingly dumb performances - Shabana Azmi (such a TYPICAL Shabana role. Big Whoop.), Sandhya Mridul (same problem).

Always good - Boman Irani. (Face it, he's awesome :D), The Superhero Salsa, This Script, Sajnaji Vari Vari.

The varied stories of six couples on their honeymoon - interesting, fun, manages to grab your attention. (I watched this movie thrice in one week lol. Mostly for the Salsa.)

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Khosla Ka Ghosla - 3.75 on 5

Fun! :D Anupam Kher's performance was really good, actually. Him trying to be the meek, unrepresented father was unexpected. Ranvir Shorey is underrated, seriously. And Boman Irani steals the show!!

Tara Sharma is terrible. Why is she in films? Modelling works for her.

The best part - laughter club shot at the end which is led by Anupam Kher "Do it properly ok."

ROTFL!

Generally

2008-06-27T11:59:00.002+05:30

I cant wait for Jaane Tu.. Ya Jaane Na. Also Love Story 2050( I have no idea why.. I guess I just want to see how good a dancer Harman Baweja is.. lol). Yes, you've got it, its movie wars all over again. The last one being Saawariya vs OSO.
:D
Go JTYJN!! whoop whoop! :D (at least the music is way better :D)

Pakeezah

2008-06-15T13:57:00.004+05:30

I'm completely out of movies and at the mercy of normal television programmers(as a result of which I have watched Yaarana about 4 times in the past month, on different channels everytime), and I feel so out of touch because i'm not allowed to be bitchy about them :(
hmph.
Well, I saw Pakeezah at least , and I also now have no time to completely write about it. Lets just say 3 on 5, the 2and a half because of the songs and half because of all the psychotic histrionics. Brilliant. (Ashok Kumar was really not suave, though.)

By the way there's a perfect 'nahiiiiin' scene in this movie ;) when they almost get married but she screams 'nahhiiiiin' and runs away.

Too much of a corny co-incidence.

2008-05-13T23:34:00.005+05:30

^
^
^
My constant source of amusement while visiting my grandparents. The one on the left was Dumb, and the one next to it was Dumber - it learned to fly a whole day after Dumb. And I still don't think it flies very well. I was hoping they'd take wing the day I left, but that would have been too much of a corny co-incidence, right?
It was a lot more amusing to watch the other bird visitors - they weren't orphans. The parent-parrots, who weren't really scared, but never fully managed to digest the fact that i wasn't going to put them in a cage, and hence abandoned the babies when I opened the shaft door, and invariably spent at least 15 minutes a day glowering at me from a tree while I watered the garden. And the neighbour-Mynah who I imagine was impotent and hence took great pride and joy in watching these two grow up, often fed them, and also tried to make them fly.
It was like living in a children's storybook - "Mrs Mynah, will you have some tea?" " No thanks dearie, and how are the little ones coming along?"
So many other animals have the same instincts that we covet as 'advanced' and 'human'. People are ridiculous to assume that because they think, they will survive. Speaking for myself, I'd go live for 10 years at a stretch in Africa watching the big cats without a second thought, anyday. (wannabe Jane Goodall..lol.)

This isn't a soppy post where I'm trying to show off my 'mother nature' side. If you don't find baby parrots adorable, go away :D

French Kiss

2008-04-27T18:07:00.004+05:30

Oh I just had to watch it because it was a chick flick. And it cant get less than 1.5 on 5. In fact, it gets just that.

'Course, ten minutes after it began and Meg Ryan began hyperventilating in what she assumed was a 'cute' manner, I switched channels, and fast. But for lack of better material, and because I now had company, I went along for the ride.
Kate faces her fear of flying when she decides to go to Paris to bring back her lover who has fallen in love with a new 'goddess'. Sitting next to her is obnoxious (thief) frenchman Luc who plants a Cartier necklace in her bag so that he doesn't get caught at customs. So that's what those 2 are doing running around France - she wants her lover, he wants his necklace, she has the necklace. Now, although I personally thought that Kevin Kline's moustache was hideous, and so was Meg Ryan's sense of style (Even that blue dress doesn't look gorgeous.) he was slightly funny, slightly, but mostly not. And oh Meg, I have no idea why I dislike you. Perhaps its because you insist on wearing such irritatingly manly clothes (and they're not even feminine-manly), perhaps its because you insist on being the same character in every movie of yours that I have ever seen, perhaps its your completely anal behaviour that stresses on wordplay as foreplay - i'm not sure which one. And although I admire that fact that you dared to chop your hair short when every other actress did the usual long locks, I think you needed a slight makeover because you usually end up looking like a 12-year old boy. But hey, at least the face is still pretty and minus some bad surgery. :D

Well, timepass. I dont think I'd ever watch it again, its just that it had on the soundtrack a song that I very much liked. Oh well, this is just for the record :D.

Rather a silly plot actually. And I know some hindi movies have copied from it.

Snort. :D

2008-04-26T17:28:00.002+05:30

I forgot xkcd existed :)

Charlie Wilson's War

2008-04-25T22:32:00.005+05:30

I have declared a war against my VCD/DVD guy.

He makes his rates higher, and I refuse to pay because he tries to pass off bad quality DVD's as originals. Unfortunately what he has not realised till now, is that I have actually become slightly smarter over the past 5 years. And also quite fond of conflict.

After AGES, he got Charlie Wilson's War.

Well, after a very interrupted screening

Good Points :

1. I actually enjoyed seeing an interesting choice of actors - Amy Adams(although she's a complete sap in this.), Pretty Woman as the Texan?, Om Puri! yay! and Emily Blunt as.. surprise!.. another Texan - wonder how long it took her to get the accent right? Tom Hanks was loveable actually.

2. Well, its based on a true story, so definitely love it.

3. This is a political story and I understood it without looking up the synopsis. whee.

4. They speak hindi in a scene. :) (I'm sorry, I happen to love my country very much!)

Bad Points :

1. Too pro-USA.

2. Glorification of war. Very Obvious glorification, not even subtle.

3. Ordinary in many bits.

4. Are they SERIOUSLY trying to market it as a love story just because it has Julia Roberts?

2 on 5 because of the bad points. Plus a 0.5 more for seeing Tom Hanks with a little more hair, and Julia Roberts with too much make-up on.

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I picked up at Blossom's (cheap) a book which contained short stories and excerpts from Charlotte Perkins Gilman's writings. (The Yellow Wallpaper, yes?) And of course I WOULD like it. She is quite interesting. But in defense, from what I read of Herland, it seemed silly, but not misandric. I think that the reaction is a little overdone. Example I don't think that's offensive :D. ...nor do many of the male people I know. Her short stories present a surprisingly fair viewpoint though. You wouldn't have guessed she was a feminist by a couple of them(Well, obviously not the one entitled 'If I Was A Man', but the others. Or on second thought, you could count that, because it is very Pro-male.) Plus she has some interesting ideas on gender equality based on economic independence which I actually find cool - sort of ties in with marxian feminism.
Listen to this - "There is no female mind. The brain is not an organ of sex. As well speak of a female liver". Love.

I am not radical :) If you knew me, you'd know.

Next in line was Margaret Atwood's 'surfacing', which I hear is not being prescribed for our juniors(we were the tester batch) and i'm highly disappointed because I really liked the novel. Hey, its about a crazy lady, and it offended a lot of my batchmates..whats not to like? I think some of those protected cases need to be exposed to this sort of thing. But then, I'm a big fan of shock-value.

P.S. - I wish I'd remembered CPG when doing the psychology project on Female Writers and Depressive Tendencies. So perfect. Damn.

A collection of Drafts from after December

2008-04-24T23:53:00.010+05:30

somewhere between trying to be the fool I am, and between trying to cut it all down and just type in the movie reviews, I've got loads of drafts (most of which contain the words 'wry' and 'pessimism' in different forms, lol. Ladies and Gentlemen, I apparently have had exactly ONE idea ever.)

Might as well publish them all, and delete some blog backlog.

This one required main page anyway :)

4. Farewells

Despite the title, I'm not going to quote Shakespeare. Mainly for two things. Parting in life is as inevitable as the oncoming of death. Nobody stays with you forever, and personally I wouldn't want anybody around me for the whole length of my lifespan. And secondly it isn't always sweet sorrow, sometimes it's welcome excitement.

As we go out into the great big World, that scary place that many of us have had innumerable conversations about and then set aside at a crucial point for fear of opening a Pandora's box of insecurities, or into other places of learning, I am in retrospect, quite curious as to how we will survive. For those of us that haven't been on our own yet, it isn't as terrifying, because ignorance is bliss, we still have illusions that must be shattered, beliefs that we must compromise upon, and less than perfect people to learn to accept and be happy with, and we don't know that yet. For those of us that have, it is slightly terrifying because you know how mundane and easy college life has been, and it is going to be difficult to shake yourself into living harder, faster, better and stronger.

Some of us have learned things. All of us, I'd suppose, lessons in life, small or big. We've been a hundred people for a hundred days and if you met the you of 3/7/2005 today I assume you would both have much to disagree upon. Speaking for myself, I would, very much, like to arrogantly establish that I leave college with exactly the same ideas that I entered with, and I had wanted so badly to be proven wrong. But, teachers will be biased(yawn.), girls who flirt will be the only ones anyone listens to(no surprise there), 24 year old spoilt brats will behave like they're 12(especially those with no life goals. I mean, who lets these fools into college?), boys are completely not worth wasting any time or effort on, family background is always a matter of importance(seriously, are we still living in the dark ages?), and only those with true goals in life will get into trouble with the college authorities and have a 80% higher chance of having to repeat semesters due to attendance shortage.

But, you learn some good things : how to entertain yourself when bored. And how to handle the real world, because this is probably exactly what you will come across.

Also, never having understood why people would make speeches about 'being together these 3 years and growing so much' (because honestly, did you not know anything of the world before you joined? I mean, we're in college for heaven's sake, not the 7th grade!) I realize that for some people it goes in circles, and we just re-remember things we had forgotten.

It was mostly the large variety of people in college that I am thankful for having the chance to have interacted with. I don't think that anything, anybody anywhere in the world might say has the power to astonish me anymore.

This is what I have learnt:

1. To fight back when required. I know that many times it isn't worth the trouble, but there's a difference between standing aside and being the bigger man(or woman) and between letting somebody walk all over you.(Although if you're one of those fascinating doormats who likes letting people do things to you and then delights in playing the victim, be my guest.)

2. Real change doesn't always come from being a loud five-minute crusader against injustice. But sometimes all people need is a five-minute crusade.

3. Everything is subjective. There are no rules, except for some very basic ones that you can embroider according to your personality. But be smart enough to accept the basic ones.(Unless you have rich parents who will provide for you while you're so busy wasting your whole life trying to 'make a statement' for a 'noble cause' that you forget that you are just b.s.ing and in your own world.)

4. Real judgment is waste of time. (Ah sweet irony. In my defense, it isn't real judgment, I just like material to make fun of... what sayest thou, girls?)

5. Age and class are never an indicator of inferiority or superiority. Personally I don't even think that past achievements are indicators, sometimes its easier and more fun to respect people for what they are at the moment.

6. Accept everything. You don't have to like it, or go by it, but accept that it exists.

7. Try to honestly help as many people along the way as you can.

8. Don't take yourself too seriously all the time. I mean, do it when necessary. And don't ever visibly undermine yourself either, because then other people will undermine you too. Learn what your strengths are and work according to them. (If you're so freakishly talented that you're good at everything, ignore this.)

9. For your own good, learn to support yourself and survive on your own - emotionally and otherwise.

10. A lot of times, people talk complete rubbish. Let them.

But, please don't do this if its something serious and if somebody else is being taken advantage of.(yep, my NGO streak kicks in. Please nobody be surprised if in 3 years time, I'm working with an NGO.)

11. When bored, think happy :) Or go annoy somebody :).

12. There's nothing worth being insecure about in life. Everybody's crazy. :)

Now, after that hideous bit of preaching, I would like to say that everything has been an experience. Not quite the best times of my life, but not really the worst either.

Until we meet again (which I think will be inevitable, given my track record of showing up at unexpected places.)

Across the Universe

2008-04-23T18:35:00.011+05:30

This just about explains what I think about this movie.

It is, in consecutive bits, either really good, or really bad.

I mean, when somebody attempts to make a movie with the title of one of your all-time favourite songs, you're bound to be a little biased, and very rarely will you find it up to par with your expectations.

I think Across the Universe was a disappointment as a film.

Don't get me wrong, the movie was VERY pretty. I was compelled to watch it a second time, just in case I was wrong the first time. But something just didn't match for me.

I think the problem lies in the fact that I could well imagine loving the film if there was absolutely no dialogue(because that was absolute rubbish.) or if they had unabashedly just made it a stage show, or if they just made it one long glorified music video(i'd really enjoy that!).

Another thing was that I did like it better the second time - primarily because I don't watch movies in dark rooms with no distractions - no, I tend to miss out on the subtlety sometimes. And here I missed out on the introductions to most of the characters. It was just a whole general sort of mish-mash, like DA says. And was it just me or does Joe Anderson's voice remind you of Zoidberg? If I closed my eyes, I could just imagine Zoidberg singing that bit in 'I get by with a little help from my friends'. Ah, the irony.

But then again, it was so pretttie :) sigh. The songs were decent, likeable, but I don't like the fact that they've released a soundtrack.
I'm sorry, this is The Beatles! There ought to be some sort of rule against it!

If you really want to like it, just watch the song-bits(they have the best visuals) - oh you have to see 'Because' - mindblowing, 'I Want You' - can half expect a hindi movie with hrithik roshan to copy some of the choreography in this one, 'Let it Be' - loved, Strawberry Fields Forever- I liked all the strawberry-smashing, Come Together - Joe Cocker is adorable, and T.V.Carpio's I wanna Hold Your Hand is quiet decent, I loved Oh, Darling, and last but not least With A Little Help From My Friends is fun to watch. Don't bother with the rest of the movie, because its silly and guessable.

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The second I heard that American Idol had a broadway night, I was hoping that someone would sing 'Think of Me' from the Phantom of the Opera. And unfortunately, David Archuletta (who sings really good, and is so cute, but is just NOT one of my favourites - costume and song-surprise wise - i mean he always sings so well!) turned it into a silly gloria-estefan-type-pop number. Yuck! Original was much nicer!

And every tuesday I find myself thinking 'no.. David Cook.. he isn't that good.', but I see him sing again, and I always change my mind. He ought to win, just because he's so hot and because he actually was quite sexy while singing 'Music of the Night'. And like ALW said, 'sophisticated'.

Also, can someone please get Paula regular meds instead of the trippy shit she takes? I mean, can ANYbody make out what she's saying? Ever?

Still got sand in my shoes

2008-04-17T18:16:00.004+05:30

Its difficult to talk about the fun of building sand castles even when you're 20.
You'd have to be there to appreciate the beauty of this one. :D
(hey we had a load of people pointing at it. No, they were not laughing. :D)

The Secret Of Happiness

2008-04-12T23:25:00.006+05:30

is to simply accept the fact that disillusionment is a complete waste of time.

Well, it is. :D

Solzhenitsyn's Nobel Speech.

2008-04-11T20:06:00.006+05:30

At first look, and based on previous bias to essays (remember 'The Scramble for Post-Colonialism'?) Alexander Solzhenitsyn's Nobel Prize speech of 1970 looked very avoidable, but I read it anyway (I am however sick of that 'savage' illusion with reference to the way people perceive art. Done tangents based on it too pointlessly too many times!), and like some of his ideas(not beyond part 5 because then he just starts rambling). He, like writers I like, gives me the illusion that I am not alone in thinking the way I do.

Last night was also American Idol's unabashed begging ceremony 'Idol Gives Back' where Ryan Seacrest wears the hat of an evangelist (not literally, though that would probably arrest my attention more.). Much of it was, I assume, not worth watching, all I caught was Teri Hatcher singing a Carrie Underwood song pretty decently, and some soppy video of Paula Abdul and Randy Jackson trying to play publicity basketball with a bunch of kids in high heels(uh, only Paula was wearing the heels. She was also pretending to move with the ball while you could make out that all she was thinking was 'Oh God, I hope I'm not too drunk, I canNOT fall on-camera yet again! And I don't want my hair/wig, to fall off! People won't buy my new record if I'm not adorably petite with Big Hair!'

Solzhenitsyn says "Given six, four or even two scales of values, there cannot be one world, one single humanity: the difference in rhythms, in oscillations, will tear mankind asunder. We will not survive together on one Earth, just as a man with two hearts is not meant for this world."

I think I understand why much of the world has grudging contempt for Americans - they(Americans) seem to assume that their scale of values is what everybody else in the world follows. Indians(who have lived in India), for example, are more tolerant - they understand that different people have different restrictions, opportunites and experiences, depending upon job, residence area, religion,etc and hence also multiple scales of values, and function accordingly. The show that aired in India last night, was quite frankly a joke. The charities they brought to notice as helping the underprivileged, the 'underprivileged' specifically, would have been considered part of the normal cycle here in India, for another reason - do you remember the old folk tale of the poor cobbler who suddenly got rich, but then gave away all his money because it caused him too much worry? Like Shantaram publicised, even in Indian slums there is a sense of community help and belonging and more than anything else, a sliver of hope despite all the uninspiring turn of events. We are a nation of unrealistic optimists.

[Look, I know that text I churn out may not seem like something that you would put out there especially if you're one of the constantly scoffing types(who by the way are the most soddingly moronic bunch I have ever come across who have never fended for themselves. However, if you have, everything you say is validly registered.). But I think its interesting to relate seemingly ridiculous events like this to what I read, that its more productive than quoting more intellectual examples that have already been thought up by somebody else, because in essence all you're doing is mugging up and reproducing without knowing.]

I'm done! :)

Opthamologists

2008-04-01T20:22:00.003+05:30

Is it just me or when you visit an opthamologist, do you feel like you're going through a moral lie-detector test?

"Can you see the last line, madam?"
-not really-
-squinting-
"uh yes.. its clear"
-not clear-

"is this better?"
-it honestly doesn't make a difference-
"uh..yes"

finally, the guy just gets irritated
"madam, its not an exam. there is no right and wrong."

geez.

Juno

2008-03-26T18:55:00.006+05:30

You can hate the poster, love the movie. :)

Juno(Ellen Page) is smart-mouthed 16 year old who gets pregnant and decides she wants to have the child instead of aborting it. Paulie Bleeker(Michael Sera)'s her best friend/the father, but she pretends as if she doesn't love him, and they hardly talk. She finds Mark and Vanessa Loring(Jason Bateman, Jennifer Garner) in a paper in the adoption column, and, on meeting them, decides to give them the child. But Vanessa is a little awkward and hesitant because an earlier mother refused to part with her child, despite the agreement.

Later, as it progresses, the Lorings decide to separate and Juno is crushed because she wanted the baby to enter a 'perfect' family. But having seen Vanessa with a child earlier in the mall, she realises how much Vanessa has wanted this child, and leaves her a note saying that if she (Vanessa's) in, so is she.

Movie ends, Jason Bateman is cute at first and then turns out to be a jerk (and I love him for doing this movie), baby is born, Vanessa keeps it, and life returns to normal.

But the point is, you still finish with a silly grin on your face. The type you get when you fall in love with something. I've been inserting random smileys throughout this post, and I've just had to go over it and delete most of them. Therefore I am allowed one now :)

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little bit of AI - hey hey! this is MY blog!
David Cook singing Chris Cornell's version of Billie Jean was good. Seriously. However I'm disappointed because I thought it was original, but it was still amazing.
And if you watch it again, Paula looks like a little meerkat, jumping up 'Oh David, You were so BRAVE!'
pshsh.

The Kite Runner

2008-03-21T23:54:00.005+05:30

They say that you should watch a movie adaptation first, and read the book later, in order to understand how good a book or movie is. Well, this movie proved that it isn't necessary. In fact I like the movie version better because I have read this book (not the case in many crappy films ex : the H2G2, any of the Harry Potters - blech.)

Plot : I don't want to tell you the plot, read the book! Anyway for those of you who haven't read it, I'll give you a very bald outline. Amir and his father live in Afghanistan with their servants Hassan and his father Ali. Amir and father leave for America after the Communist invasion. Years later, Amir's father is dead, Amir marries Soraya and they are unable to have children. He gets a call from his father's old colleague to come back and save a boy Sohrab, who is Hassan's son.

You know how K3G is 'all about loving your family'?
The Kite Runner, I feel is more about those subtle human relations that these characters are unafraid to live out, enact and live by and that's what makes them more endearing.
If you read the book and then watch the movie, you understand each character, because the big screen has its limits. I honestly felt like the movie was very true to what I imagined of the book, and for that I love this film.
Of course, there are irritating glitches - although the movie showed many of the controversial bits I thought they would have cut out, it cut out some that I think would have made a difference to how the viewers understand the film. For one, they don't show the driver Farid's family. I thought it was important they way Amir understood the situation using Farid's family as an example.
Secondly, they haven't picturised the VERY IMPORTANT bit towards the end where Sohrab attempts suicide, or the difficulty Amir has in trying to get Sohrab to America thanks to all the bureaucratic red tape. Still important.

But on the whole, a really nice film - tear-worthy even.
(yeah, plus I like films where I can understand bits of the language - in this there were a few sudden words you'd get if you're a hindi speaker. And yes, I'm aware that those words aren't even hindi in origin, but they sort of have infused themselves with it - khabar, jaan, kubool, khallas, that types.)

Roadtrippin - a JPE 2005-08 tribute

2008-03-19T22:20:00.004+05:30

Inexperiencedly shot in three or so hours and edited in a BIG hurry.
'Director', Best Friend to Main Man, and Skinny Dude - Rahul Joseph
Brooding Deep TDH guy , Main Character, and the guy with 'the look' - Tarun Cherian Andrews (I'm not sure.. is there a John as well somewhere in there?)
Cut and paste editing, much of the shaky camera work and Girl in Pink - Tia Raina

With special cameos by many people.. much thanks to Kevin and Nelson for falling asleep in the first bench and letting me get a shot of the sweatshirts..Teachers - thank you for your appearances and tolerance while I was pretending to know what I was doing with that camera, and to all the others, thanks for obliging with the silly acting and poses. :)

Here's to a good 3 years!

Lover Come Back

2008-03-19T19:10:00.004+05:30

Welcome to the world on which most Bollywood movies have ever since based their storylines on. Starring the Gorgeous Rock Hudson (I was fascinated to find out he was gay, he was honestly too pretty and too funny and too witty to be straight!) and Doris Day (If you've seen 'Down With Love', I feel like Renee Zellweger has based her character entirely on DD's performance in this 1961 movie.)

Zis is your typical movie in technicolour with pretty men and a decent amount of cheap sexual jokes. Okay, so thats not ALL the story is about, its about Carol Templeton(Day), an idealistic advertising executive at loggerheads with Jerry Webster(Rock Hudson) of a rival firm who steals all the accounts by wooing the clients with booze and girls.

Jerry pretends to advertise a product 'Vip' to quieten a witness whom Carol has called to testify against him in front of the advertising council. Unfortunately his boss puts it on air. Jerry then hires a Nobel prize winner to create a product for him. Carol gets a wind of this new product and rushes over to the scientists place, only to mistake Jerry for him. She wines and dines him, trying to make him give her the account.
At the crux of their romance, Jerry spends a night at her apartment, and obviously wants to sleep with her, and uses his 'inferiority complex' tactic to get her into bed. Unfortunately just before she goes into his room, her boss telephones her and tells her she's got the wrong man. She's obviously hopping mad, so on the pretext of taking him to a secluded beach where they can both do a little more than swim, she abandons him on the roadside with only his underwear. He hitch-hikes his way back, finds out that his scientist has created the product which turns out to be a mint which injects your bloodstream with as much alcohol as a triple martini, and goes over to the advertising council (Carol has issued a case against him). They all get drunk on mints and
Carol and Jerry get married. They finally sleep together (this I found funny because after she awakens, he tries to pacify her by saying 'but honey, we're married, its all ok!'). She is angry again, and leaves and gets her marriage annulled. Jerry moves out of town, nine months later gets a call from Carol's secretary - she's having a baby, and they kiss and make up.

Funny facts
1. When she's supposed to be pregnant, her tummy just has like a pillow on it. It just looks like she's a bit on the heavier side, not actually pregnant.
2. Carol's secretary is, unless I'm mistaken, a younger Alice (from the Brady Bunch.).
3. Did you know that strip clubs existed in 1961? I mean, I'm aware that prostitution is the oldest occupation, but strip clubs I thought were fairly recent..
4. I hate Carol's clothes...but nice shoes
5. There are quite a few sexist ideas in the movie.For example, when Carol and Jerry wake up hungover and married, they begin to fight. Two maidservants outside 'tsk-tsk' her and say 'how sad! some women just can't handle the thought of marriage!'. I found that very annoying. But then, it WAS the 1960's.
6.It was Nominated for best screenplay - and it really was good. There were a lot of ideas intermingled, and when not handled carefully that sort of thing can be a complete mess. This wasn't a complete mess.
7. I haven't mentioned Tony Randall. He's quite good too.
8. I had to put this picture in too. Look at her hat!! Isn't it just so ROTFL??!!! Pompoms, I tell you! on a Lilac hat!! Gahahaha!! And the 'beach' is a blue wall!! Lol.. I love old movies!!

Funny timepass. Better than 'Come September'.

27 Dresses, Enchanted

2008-03-18T19:45:00.010+05:30

Apparently, apart from these 2, all the movie-watching I've been doing off-late consists of re-runs of Barton Fink, The Little Mermaid, I heart Huckabees and Gone With the Wind. Yes, No Country For Old Men has been lying on my computer for the past month and a half and I STILL haven't watched it. And I'm dying to see Sweeney Todd.

Anyway 27 Dresses first, because I saw it today and it is still fresh in my mind. Incidentally, both movies have James Marsden, so even if they entirely reeked, my eye-candy quota would have been fulfilled.
Now, WHY is 27 Dresses even the damn title? I think they should have just called it 'Katherine Heigl with non-blonde hair and cute love interest', or 'Penny and the Jets' (inside joke. we'll get to that later.)

Plot : (spoilers!) Its the classic "Always a bridesmaid , never a bride" sort of thing, except those 27 dresses that Jane(Heigl) has are all hideous bridesmaid dresses. Kevin Doyle is the cynical 'i dont believe in love' man who writes the most beautiful wedding announcements. (Hello..doesn't the person who came up with this idea have ANY idea of psychology? Obviously he's a sentimental fool!)Well, her dimpled blonde sister Tess (Malin Akerman) who also to me looks quite a bit like Cameron Diaz, and will also be your only link to Paris and some style (some of her dresses really are cute ) falls in love with Jane's boss and crush George (Edward J. Burns, Jr.) and the feeling is reciprocated.
Of course, Jane's hopping mad, fuelled by the fact that her sister lies A LOT to George about the sort of person she is, so that he falls in love with her (the sister, not Jane). Many chick-flick-style run-ins happen after Kevin is assigned to cover George and Tess' wedding. One rainy day, Jane and Kevin are driving away they almost crash, survive, go to a bar, get drunk, make complete fools of themselves by making up the words to 'Penny and the Jets' and dance atop the bar table a la 'Coyote Ugly', and then go back to her car and finally for lack of putting it more tactfully..I'm trying to not say 'have sex'. Oh wait..I just said it. Eh, tact can come later. Oh and important part, in the bar when they're drunk, Kevin admits to Jane that he 'cried like a baby' at a wedding.

THEN..dum dum dum dum

Conflict.

Kevin had previously written a rather bitchy article about Jane which he told his editor not to publish, but she went ahead and did it. Jane sees it, goes wild. Then comes some rather silly making-up bit, and finally, they both get married.

Clap clap clap.

It would have been less entertaining for me had I not fought with some irritating girl in the theatre over a seat. That put in some drama.

Final Verdict : Timepass.

p.s. - isn't the poster so half-hearted? its like the makers of the movie themselves knew that the movie was rather blah.
Besides, after seeing Katherine Heigl in that episode of Grey's Anatomy where Denny dies (that episode was so brilliant it made the hairs on my arms stand up while I was very discreetly wiping tears from the corners of my eyes! And that was only because there were other people in the room, had I been alone, I would have bawled like a five year old having an existential crisis.. Plus I'm in love with Denny, he was soo George Clooney lookalike/Perfect. sigh sigh.) anyway, after THAT, she does THIS? Boring!

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Now, onto Enchanted. For me, this was actually better than the 27 dresses, for the sole reason that there were some more inside jokes. Have you heard 'The Happy Working Song'? Oh actually, you should see it.. its pretty funny.
Then I discovered that there were homages to other Disney movies - When Giselle goes to Robert's office, they play a muzak version of 'under the sea'.
The songs are tolerable, James Marsden is pain really (but still good-looking!), Giselle(Amy Adams) makes dresses out of curtains, (and pretty ones! Shoes also are adorable.)
There's this one bit where Robert(Dempsey)'s 6 year old kid goes shopping with Giselle, and says with awe about boys "And we all know they're only after ONE thing!"
Giselle "And what's that?"
Kid *giggles* "I dont know. Nobody will tell me! "

It was funny :)

Susan Sarandon has too much make-up.

But you'll like it if you've been brought up on Disney Movies, unrealistic as they were. This one isn't too unrealistic. In some good ways.

Yes, story! : Giselle meets Prince one day and both are to get married the next day. Evil stepmother wants the crown for herself, pushes Giselle down well which sends her to New York. Robert and child save her and take her home. She cleans their house, and talks a lot of disney nonsense at which Robert continually rolls his eyes. Finally Robert's fiance Nancy fights with him because she sees Giselle on top of him (she slips and falls), G and R go to the park where he gives her some money and tells her to leave, she obliges but gives money away to old lady. He feels bad for her, they walk in the park, song happens, apology flowers are sent to Nancy. Meanwhile, evil stepmother has sent henchman to NY to kill her. Henchman gives her poisoned apple but she doesnt eat it. Also Prince is in NY looking for her(Giselle).Robert lets Giselle stay in his house another night. She is by now slightly more realistic. Next day, Prince finds her, on her insistence they go on a 'date'(the concept of which Robert has explained to her), to a King and Queen's ball in the Park. Evil stepmother shows up, makes Giselle take a bite of poisoned apple, they all come to the conclusion that only 'true love's kiss' can save her. Prince kisses her and nothing happens, so Robert kisses her and surprise, she wakes up! Then Evil Stepmother transforms into a big dragon, picks up Robert and does some stunts atop a tower King-Kong style. Giselle saves him, they get married, she stays back in NY, opens a store called 'Andalusian fashions'. Andalusia is the name of her land, by the way. And then just as you begin to feel sad for Prince-boy, (because he does mean well and IS good-looking despite being so irritating) he takes off with Nancy, back to Andalusia where they get married. Happy endings all around.

pretty funny :)

:)

2008-03-13T07:43:00.002+05:30

because we're all villagers!

too bad video resolution is so low :)

Lollipop - Mika

2008-02-25T22:10:00.007+05:30

Yeah :) Don't you just love him? If he was in my class, and is gay, I would love him and he would worship my diva antics. and he'd be my FABulous bitchy besht frand. And the whole world would be good, and happy and fun! Whee! :)

Flashback

2008-02-25T19:11:00.007+05:30

I'd forgotten how much I'd liked Silk Route (because they were senti without being overly senti! and somewhat melancholic - and such pretty videos. at least, in theory - i mean, when you watch it, it is SO typically 90's indipop-cool. My favourite song was Sapnay..which I cannot find the full video of online and now i'm just too darned lazy to go and 'really' search for it.)

Boondein
(seriously, though, sapnay is nicer.)
p.s. - is that really Riya Sen in there? I'm not a big fan, and this video is so-o home-made, she looks so lost! heehee! But nothing is all that funny after watching malaika arora khan in 'gur naal ishq mitha' with her bright red 7-inch at least hideous shoes. But if this was ten years ago, I might actually have liked them. Indeed, I did at some point own a pair of bright red one-inch platforms with purple and yellow straps that I thought were the coolest...so who am I to comment on style anymore? enjai.

The Mighy Boosh

2008-02-19T22:15:00.003+05:30

Another BBC series. I cannot believe this was on my computer for so long and I haven't watched it yet.
Awesome like DA, brilliant because I love Vince Noir's (Noel Fielding) hair and the fact that he's the 'mod king', Naboo's psychology ('look at the kittens!'), and Howard Moon's (Julian Barrat) emo personality.

Other reasons the show is addict-able :
a. impromptu music/dance
b. lack of continuity - DA style.
c. you gotta love airheads
d. i like noir's clothes
e. animals! (yeah so they're puppets, but they're supposed to be..)
f. existantialism
g. the fact that Rich Fulcher's belly button is constantly In Your Face.
h. bitchiness :)

when i grow up, I want a show like that ;)

I'm serious. I want Vince Noir's hair. Its perfect! (I need new adjectives.)

Oh btw, I haven't heard the radio series YET, no chance of ever catching the stage show, and I'm still on the first season dvd, but I doubt anything can go downhill from here!

All About Eve

2008-02-14T22:09:00.003+05:30

Margo is an aging insecure actress whose life is taken over by Eve, her evil (in-disguise) fan who tries to get her bite of fame.

My new favouritest movie ever, because I really like Bette Davis, the short hair on Anne Baxter, and the gowns in this one.

Random trivia : one of Marilyn Monroe's first bit roles. Thats her in the white.

R.I.P.

2008-02-12T19:39:00.001+05:30

Prabhat K Bhat.

I didn't know him too well personally, and quite honestly the first time I met him was at a volunteer meeting in our first year, the first person to stick his hand out and give me a hearty handshake served with a smile was "P.K.Bhat" in his own words. I never spoke to him too much apart from the once in a while random chats but we'd always smile at each other. So I can't give him a big eulogy. But I will say it is hard to believe that he's gone. I hope he enjoyed his life to the fullest and somehow I think he did.

R.I.P.

Hampi Chronicles

2008-02-08T09:31:00.001+05:30

- wish I was a little smaller physically, (even without the 5 or 6 kgs I've recently managed to acquire) for the simple reason that when a bag takes up 1/3rd of the already slim double-back seat, you really dont have much place to sleep.

-Observed exactly how irritating incessant early morning chatter is - 8 on a scale of 10. Decided one will curb the craving to talk to ppl early in the morning from now on :)

-Upon entering room, was faced with roomates - Lily the lizard and R the humongous roach who was lying on his back in front of the cupboard. With nerves of steel, I approached him, after considering picking him up by his antennae and throwing him out, but steel turned to string when hand got within an inch of his body. Finally got rid of him after 16 hours with the aid of a phone book.

- Fatso pundit boy. Extremely cute , bossy and fun to watch.

- Male model. Sigh. Whyy can't they have just a small amount of brains? He was sweet though.

- N, J and wife R who saved me, made life bearable, and are all so adorable. I love people who gossip.

- peeing in a cave, following monkeys to take pictures, chasing a two foot long(and fat) lizard - species unknown, wanting to take home Lakshmi the elephant .

- finding another person who buys shoes from the inside-shack-guy on Hill Road! Joy, he still exists!

- sunrises, sunsets

- N visibly taking pictures of the foreigners who were taking pictures of the sets.

- landscapes

- temples

- stone

- firangs

- the bag/camera thief

- 'family set' with raghu and his son.

- no still camera except the 2 mp phone camera which CANNOT take low-light shots and it HURTS my patience to try and zoom in only to remember there is no zoom!

elaboration i think is unnecessary :) at least, once i get the pictures in.

The Blue Umbrella

2008-01-18T20:40:00.001+05:30

My first acquaintance with Ruskin Bond happened to be when I was in the fourth standard (yes, 'fourth grade' for all you angreji babus) with a novella of the very same name. At the time I remember my classmates being collectively horrified by the apparent thickness of the book and I myself was extremely apprehensive about managing to finish the whole book in a few measly months' time. Hey, I was 9, give me a break. Anything of the non-enid-blyton, tinkle, chandamama, target, katy, and anne genre seemed boring to me. (I finished it in a week anyway. But somehow I didn't like going further in the story than the class - it seemed like cheating! p.s. I tell you if I ever become a grandmother, I'll bore my grandchildren to death with my reminiscing!).
Anyway Ruskin Bond was a good insight into the non-perfection world, and one that i could really vaguely relate to. The book has been one of my favourites ever since.

The movie...is a good attempt by Vishal Bhradwaj.
Pankaj Kapur plays adorable evil shopkeeper Nandakisor.

'eh.tere ko pata hai bill gate kaun hai?'
'bill gate-a...indiya gate ke paas hai!
angreji mein bhi jhoot bolta hai koi? '

(giggle prompt 1, for all of you who didn't notice.)

And i sort of 'learnt' that binocular = durbi in pahadi hindi. or normal hindi. i dont know either way :)
The chinese tourists who the umbrella belongs to are just bad actors . Sorry, they're terrible ! I was sort of hoping for a nice English mem with a pretty dress..sigh.

However, I fell in love with the blue umbrella the millisecond it got its first frame. It wasn't perfect - I seem to remember it being made of silk.. but it was certainly still very pretty!

I also find the pahadi accent is nice - a very pleasing 'dz' for 'j' - well, pleasing to me, sort of sounded like kashmiri(which btw i dont know a word of. please dont ask me. i only know how it sounds.)

inside jokes..
the 'kar de maa kar de maa' bhajan is so obviously made up. I'm not particularly pious and dont have a very extensive vocabulary of hindi god-songs..no..Its just that there was one very striking feature of the bhajan - it was sung to the tune of 'you are my soniya'!! ROTFL
Not kidding. :)

There was a bit in the second song that reminded me of 'chinna chinna aasaey'.

There's this part where Biniya chases away a large snake with The Umbrella - and and her brother pehelwan Biju goes 'arre woh to bill me gaya hoga . kill bill kill bill!'.
giggle prompt 2. (and it worked ;)

I particularly enjoyed Biniya's sulking sequence after she lost the umbrella.
a. because i still sulk like that (and i enjoy it!)
b. 'ab tu jid(zid) pe adi rahi, to sheher jaake sui lagvane padegi. woh bhi paet me. suna hai aaj kal poodi aur halwe ke bhi suiya aa gayi hai bajaar mein!' ROTFL.

Then .. 'nandakisor, tshathri tsor!' (chatri chor)

and Nandakisor's 'grand opening' - literally - of his new umbrella is hilarious. :)

The mention of Gobi ka achaar - sarson ke tael mae'! Yum! My mouth didn't really stop watering after I saw the bottle. Sorry, this is one of those conditioning-type things. Salivating starts as soon as 'gobi ka achaar' is mentioned.

But as the tale progresses, your heart goes out to poor Nandu, even though you know he's a sly fox..After all, he is old, and Biniya stil has her whole life before her. And it was awful, the guilt pricks during the wedding baraat sequence when the villagers all shun him. Poor thing. However, all's well that ends well, and I don't want to bother giving out the plot, read the book!

One of the only things I wondered though, was whether, in this age of Wii's and xbox 360's, whether any kid would actually find such a simplistic tale interesting. I mean, its just a blue umbrella, after all. What's the fuss about, eh?
Plus, honestly, the accent can be 'too good' sometimes.. the dialogues are going to be lost on everyone, unless you've read the book before, subtitles and children just dont go hand-in-hand. I myself could sometimes hardly follow what Nandakisor was saying.

Shreya Sharma acts well, although at parts you know she is doing just exactly what they told her to. I have a feeling she'll grow up to be extremely pretty!

The movie on the whole is good, but just a little slow - it is , after all, a half-hour story that has been told in thrice the amount of time. It's bound to be labelled as 'boring' by some. To others, its a big inside joke. And a very pleasant one. :)

Rating : 3 on 5. For attempting. Look I know it won the award for Best Children's film and all, but I probably wouldn't enjoy it as much if I were a kid.

p.s. - excellent locations. I'd love to live in a village like that!

Bheja Fry

2008-01-17T19:05:00.001+05:30

Is the sort of movie that should be watched with friends at home, plenty of food and drink passing around and everyone in a good mood. It has to be laughed at.

Vinay Pathak steals the show with his 'TGIF?'s and 'ha. ha. ha.' ing
Rajat Kapoor.. is well, Rajat Kapoor. I've come to expect the same from him in every film - a grey character who looks decent but deep down has weird flaws.
Milind Soman was.. bleeargh. I wonder if the length of his hair is directly correlated to the amount he overacts and laughs in a film. Some idiotic acting.. but well, at least his hair wasn't longer than mine (actually i think it might be longer..it wasn't even straightened..hmm..)
The two songs in the movie are quite pleasant. The first one particularly.. Kaun Kiska Hua Hai Yaha - I had completely forgotten that Vasundhara Das could have a pleasant voice! Sometimes I'm surprised when I listen to her decent songs - this one, and Its The Time To Disco from KHNH (please! I liked KHNH! Its unabashedly commercial, and, unlike its successors , is actually funny!)
Ranvir Shorey was quite funny. Although his face reminded me of the guy in MIB - The Bug. Loved the eyebrows and insults.

Nice timepass movie. I mean, its not brilliant, and I dont think I could sit through it once more, but it certainly was fun while it lasted!

2.5 on 5.

Oh and I purposely put up this poster, because I like the mischievous look on Vinay Pathak's face.

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In other completely unrelated news, American Idol has started and I couldn't be more thrilled!

On Loop

2008-01-16T19:24:00.001+05:30

Today I am vaary happy.
I saw Govinda slapping some random dude about 25 times in the span of a minute.

And you still wonder why I don't want to do journalism anymore?

Dancer in the Dark

2008-01-15T19:22:00.002+05:30

Genre : Musical
Rating : You might hate the movie. From my side, 4.5 on 5.

Selma is a czech single mother who comes to america in hope of earning enough money to get her son operated on. her son suffers from a degenerative eyesight disease, which selma has now gone blind due to.

a. I want to say that this movie doesn't act upon my worst fears, but it sort of does, the first effect it had on me was that Bill was such a complete asshole, so predictable, I mean, you could tell from the minute he gets all 'confiding' that she's in trouble. Bill originally comes to talk to her about his fears, insecurities, lack of money, while he and his wife in fact own the property on which Selma's trailer resides. Point is, he is out of money, and can't tell his wife. However, on learning that she is saving up money for her son's operation, he robs her one day after she goes blind. This just annoyed me so much until I realised that I was only looking at one side of the story...see, there was Bill on one side, but Jeff also existed on the other end of the spectrum. Jeff was a simple man, who did the 'right' thing mostly, picking her up from work at the end of her nightshift, constantly hanging around until she's finish just so that he could maybe drop her home, watching out for Gene(her son). So I'll stop being all bitchy about the men now. :)

b. Selma sets herself up for all the tragedy that follows. The only person she tells the whole truth to is Bill(of all people).

c. this whole movie, to me, is so weird. a few reviews i read on it claimed that it uses cheap tricks to capture viewer's attention. but somehow I didn't think so. If i ever make a movie that i REALLY want to(yeah MY immortal movie..lol..it could happen..), it probably will be a lot like this. Or at least, I'd want it to be like this. The camera work is grainy, it vaguely reminds one of a reality show. which works in its favour, thanks to the topic of the movie.
There's obvious rawness, so much that I really dont think there is even one person who won't identify with anything at all in the movie.

d. this is a musical, but it isn't a candy-happy one. the music serves for emotional relief more than anything else. Lars von Trier (the director) breaks all moulds by using the 'musical' outline in a completely different way. This is i think what is called 'making a medium your own'.(yesss!!! all those optional english classes finally paid off!! lol.) Combined with the camera-work it makes for a very unreal, but realistic experience.

e. Bear in mind that all my reviews are from a very common person's point of view. I can't give you excessively selfish and cynical reviews on camera work and cinematography when I'm not pretentious enough to claim to know much!! Also, to me a movie isn't about all technical aspects. Its about the questions and emotions it raises in people.
(Yes the tears came. So sue me.)

p.s. Bjork's performance was one of the best I've ever come across. For some reason I can totally understand her wanting to not ever act again.

p.p.s - watch out for the song 'I've seen it all'.

This is apparently part of Von Trier's trilogy, Breaking the Waves (1996) followed by The Idiots, 1998. If you want to read more on it, I liked this guy's point of view.

Khoya Khoya Chand

2008-01-14T23:48:00.001+05:30

I wanted so bad for this movie to be brilliant.

Anyway, it isn't eye-gougingly bad, but it is sort of .. blah. Not having grown up on the cinema of the 50's and 60's, I could hardly find myself in the spot to draw any comparisons.

Objectively
Music: was the best part of the film.
Acting : Sometimes you have to wonder why all of Rajat Kapoor's roles are like this - the evil but suave-looking superior-position man(remember Monsoon Wedding?)
Soha Ali Khan wasn't half-bad.
Shiney Ahuja can act sometimes. Mostly, he can't. So I like to think that 'stony-faced hero who is in extreme emotional turmoil' is beginning to be his standard look when the director is tired of getting him to play something which requires a little more effort.
Vinay Pathak is tolerable.
Saurabh Shukla doesn't really pass off as a big-hearted punjabi. I'm sorry.
Time : I usually like slow-moving 'thinking' films, but this one really dragged on for too long in some bits. If it were made a little shorter and a little clearer, I think it would have done much bettter. Otherwise, I liked the pace for many scenes which required this slow sort of treatment.
Costumes : again, I have no clue, but from what I've heard ( from older fans) the costumes are perfect, so are the sets.
Weird shots : Soha Ali Khan is a little too coy , the part where they throw stones at a producer's house and then she ends up dancing on the street. She then happens to 'accidentally' cling on to Shiney's arm. Uff.. thats so 'look at me, I'm too delicate to stand on my own, and I'm really not hitting on you I just need to stand and I can't help it if you fall for lil-ol-helpless me'. Pff.
Oooh, snogging scene - Shiney and that other actress..(I googled it..ah.. Sonia Jehan! She's pretty by the way.). Well anyway, terrible camera work in that scene. Twice you come face-to-butt with Shiney's derriere, and honestly its not pretty. He's fully clothed, but every aspect of that shot just scrrreaams 'awkward!awkward!). This is part of an Indian movie phenomenon I like to call AMO - Awkward Making Out, and it involves all awkward scenes that deal with a. a kiss, b. anything further. If you're lucky, (like Jab We Met) your movie wont be struck by the AMO monster. If you're not, you get Khoya Khoya Chand.
Plot : the ending in specific... Movies like this should be ended On The Spot! They do not require further explanations! If you've managed to get an audience to stay with you for so long, do not test their patience further by giving additional details about the character's lives that nobody cares anymore about!

Onto the good points now..
Its a pretty movie. But there's just 'that something' missing in it.
Soha Ali Khan looks fab in most scenes. The 50's/60's look is her zone.
Sigh ok I admit it, if only Shiney Ahuja would act a little bit better, I'd be stalking him instead of Arjun Rampal. He's got potential.
The music was VERY hum-worthy :)

Rating : 2 on 5

Taare Zameen Par

2007-12-31T20:50:00.002+05:30

Taare Zameen Par gets 3.75 taare.

It was a cute movie..timepass. Not particularly great or anything..I found bits in Aaja Nach Le more entertaining..
Songs were good, thoughtful lyrics, aamir khan's entrance as the clown(i thought) was a little cheesy. I mean, if i were a kid and somebody leaped and bounded into my classroom like that, I 'd be shit scared! The saving grace was the little boy, brillo acting, aamir khan methought cried a little too much (aw...the "perfect" uber-sensitive metrosexual male with twendy hairstyle.).But I think he also realised that, cuz his co-worker.. Zabeen(Jabeen?dont remember..) comes at this crucial teary scene and goes 'kya ram, aaj bhi pyaaz kaat rahe the'?' lol.

Well, the guys who were with me also cried, (and I sniffled a little bit) so I'll say it was a first class tearjearker, but it wasn't a sad one.

I loved the painting that Ram(!) makes at the end, btw. Awesome.

Good Points :
1. Good attempt - trying to combine both commercialism and movie-with-message-ness.
2. Thoughtful,meaningful lyrics for most songs. Pleasant songs.
3. The kid was nice and snotty.
4. Ending scene. :) (I know.. its so cliche'! But I still liked it.)
5. It had a boarding school! Whee!
6. Oh god, I loved all the maha-senti scenes!! Like, ok I know for a fact that the 'Maa' song was very well appreciated, but my favourite senti scene is when Ishaan gives up his painting and sneaks around and takes a look at Ram's painting..oh that was so.. heart-overflowing-with-emotion.!! lol.
7. And I liked the Bheja Kum song - nice crisp shots!
8. The Kholo Kholo song is still undoubtedly the favourite!

Bad Points :
1. Aamir Khan.
a.Too much Botox, his eyes were constantly red, overintense in some scenes.)
b. His jeans during the painting competition. Did I REALLY see plaid cut-outs in his crotch area?
2. Cheesiness with a capital CHEESINESS. (apologetic smile. If I weren't such a villager, I probably would not have liked the movie.)
3. Too many songs...I know I said the songs are nice.. but I dont like feature films with songs!
4. Ok I dont know if this is a good point or bad point, but something in the movie reminded me of RDB.

That's all ya, go see it I think you might like it!

Oh, and a Happy New Nose everyone!!
(Happy New 'Ear is overused.)

Pig and Pepper

2007-12-22T17:26:00.001+05:30

At some point when there were a hundred (ok 8) cats in my house.. i named a couple of them Pig and Pepper. And I always wondered where I got the names from..

Read 'Through The Looking Glass'?

lol.

Jab We Met

2007-12-13T19:23:00.001+05:30

There's this dumb joke going around..
When someone asks you "Did you prefer OSO or Saawariya?"
You say "Jab We Met".

Hmm..yeah..I agree.
JWM is easily better than those two. The first half is hilarious, and it isn't even one of those overly unbelieveable movies..at least the first half isn't. This is probably the second movie Kareena seems awesome in. First was Chameli. Oh, first of all, I think Shahid's personality reminded me a LOT of someone I know...and I've even gotten snapped at to 'shut up stop talking!' so I found that bit funny. And then there is this bit where they go to 'Hotel Decent' and the owner thinks she's a prostitute.
Either way, the songs are annoying(in the movie at least).
Oh there's a kiss! No no I know that Hindi movies have kisses in them - but they mostly look so awkward and fake you squirm thinking of how uncomfortable the actors must be. This kiss came as a surprise and all, I was busy writing some notes while the movie was being projected and I nearly missed the kiss. I was so miffed, I nearly made them rewind just to see it, but luckily they followed it up. Lol.

Ending was silly. They get married.
Is that all people? Dont settle for marriage, why didn't you go have some adventures Bunty Aur Babli style? You could easily carry it off!

Rating - 3.75 on 5

On my way to Ithaca?

2007-11-23T20:22:00.001+05:30

When you do realize something in your own little eureka moment, nobody believes you so of course you feel you’re completely crazy for thinking something that seems so ridiculous and you try to stop yourself from defaulting to thought-patterns that fall that way. There are formulae to life, it all depends on what you want to do with yours and what you have on your palette of personality to paint the canvas of your path with. If you have a missing primary colour you can’t substitute for it with anything else..like yellow with red or blue. Sometimes all you’re looking for in people is a rare shade that can be gotten with a specific mix of specific colours, and you feel disappointed because what you saw in them is something so close to what you thought you did, but the sunlight shines more brightly and you see it isn’t what you thought it was, a nice colour on its own, perhaps even better, but not quite what you were looking for. So you give up and decide to live with it, but it eats away because your colour tones and the other ones just don’t go together no matter what perspective you may look at it from, it just turns out to be so mismatched, and then you mix and mix and mix and everything turns to an ugly brown..and whatever happened to those lovely shades that first met ages ago?

Like, whatever. Bear with it. :)

Notes From the Underground - Dostoyevsky

2007-11-22T20:40:00.001+05:30


(I think a blog doesn't need to have all MY original work.
Besides I'm really not as arrogant and narcissistic as to give
you my life history and all the great 'trials' I go through..
since I'm not anymore pretending to be out of the ordinary.
Sorry..is that cynical? Perhaps you dont know me at all..)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ending Passage of Notes From the Underground 

Even now, so many years later, all this is somehow a very evil memory.
I have many evil memories now, but ... hadn't I better end my "Notes"
here?  I believe I made a mistake in beginning to write them, anyway I
have felt ashamed all the time I've been writing this story; so it's hardly
literature so much as a corrective punishment.  Why, to tell long stories,
showing how I have spoiled my life through morally rotting in my corner,
through lack of fitting environment, through divorce from real life, and
rankling spite in my underground world, would certainly not be interesting;
a novel needs a hero, and all the traits for an anti-hero are EXPRESSLY
gathered together here, and what matters most, it all produces an unpleasant
impression, for we are all divorced from life, we are all cripples,
every one of us, more or less.  We are so divorced from it that we feel at
once a sort of loathing for real life, and so cannot bear to be reminded of
it. Why, we have come almost to looking upon real life as an effort,
almost as hard work, and we are all privately agreed that it is better in
books.  And why do we fuss and fume sometimes?  Why are we perverse
and ask for something else?  We don't know what ourselves.  It would be
the worse for us if our petulant prayers were answered.  Come, try, give
any one of us, for instance, a little more independence, untie our hands,
widen the spheres of our activity, relax the control and we ... yes, I
assure you ... we should be begging to be under control again at once.  I
know that you will very likely be angry with me for that, and will begin
shouting and stamping.  Speak for yourself, you will say, and for your
miseries in your underground holes, and don't dare to say all of us--
excuse me, gentlemen, I am not justifying myself with that "all of us."  As
for what concerns me in particular I have only in my life carried to an
extreme what you have not dared to carry halfway, and what's more, you
have taken your cowardice for good sense, and have found comfort in
deceiving yourselves.  So that perhaps, after all, there is more life in me
than in you.  Look into it more carefully!  Why, we don't even know what
living means now, what it is, and what it is called?  Leave us alone without
books and we shall be lost and in confusion at once.  We shall not know
what to join on to, what to cling to, what to love and what to hate, what
to respect and what to despise.  We are oppressed at being men--men
with a real individual body and blood, we are ashamed of it, we think it a
disgrace and try to contrive to be some sort of impossible generalised
man.  We are stillborn, and for generations past have been begotten, not
by living fathers, and that suits us better and better.  We are developing a
taste for it.  Soon we shall contrive to be born somehow from an idea.  But
enough; I don't want to write more from "Underground."

If I Had A Gun

2007-11-19T18:15:00.001+05:30

I’d shoot the man who pulled up slowly in his hot car this morning
I’d shoot the man who whistled from his balcony
I’d shoot the man with things dangling over his creepy chest
in the park when I was contemplating the universe
I’d shoot the man who can’t look me in the eye
who stares at my boobs when we’re talking
who rips me off in the milk-bar and smiles his wet purple smile
who comments on my clothes. I’m not a fucking painting
that needs to be told what it looks like,
who tells me where to put my hands, who wrenches me into position
like a meccano-set, who drags you round like a war
I’d shoot the man who couldn’t live without me
I’d shoot the man who thinks it’s his turn to be pretty
flashing his skin passively like something I’ve got
to step into, the man who says John’s a chemistry Phd
and an ace cricketer, Jane’s got rotten legs
who thinks I’m wearing perfume for him
who says Baby you can really drive like it’s so complicated,
male, his fucking highway, who says ah but you’re like that
and pats you on the head, who kisses you at the party because
everybody does it, who shoves it up like a nail
I’d shoot the man who can’t look after himself
who comes to me for wisdom
who’s witty with his mates about heavy things
that wouldn’t interest you, who keeps a little time
to be human and tells me, female, his ridiculous
private thoughts. Who sits up in his moderate bed
and says Was that good like a menu
who hangs onto you sloppy and thick as a carpet
I’d shoot the man last night who said Smile honey
don’t look so glum with money swearing from his jacket
and a 3-course meal he prods lazily
who tells me his problems: his girlfriend, his mother,
his wife, his daughter, his sister, his lover
because women will listen to that sort of rubbish
Women are full of compassion and have soft soggy hearts
you can throw up in and no-one’ll notice
and they won’t complain. I’d shoot the man
who thinks he can look like an excavation-site
but you can’t, who thinks what you look like’s for him
to appraise, to sit back, to talk his intelligent way.
I’ve got eyes in my fucking head, who thinks if he’s smart
he’ll get it in. I’d shoot the man who said
Andrew’s dedicated and works hard, Julia’s ruthlessly ambitious
who says I’ll introduce you to the ones who know
with their inert alcoholic eyes
that’ll get by, sad, savage, and civilised
who say you can like there’s a law against it
I’d shoot the man who goes stupid
in his puny abstract how-could-I-refuse-she-needed-me
taking her tatty head in his neutral arms like a pope
I’d shoot the man who pulled up at the lights
who rolled his face articulate as an asylum
and revved the engine, who says you’re paranoid
with his educated born-to-it calm
who’s standing there wasted as a rifle
and explains the world to me. I’d shoot the man who says
Relax honey come and kiss my valium-mouth blue.

- Gig Ryan

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is in our syllabus. Well, not my syllabus, I took ELT. But still.. somehow a lot of females in my class liked this one.

Saawariya

2007-11-09T17:15:00.001+05:30

A little Moulin Rouge, a pinch of Devdas, a slightly over-enthusiastic Ranbir Kapoor in a towel(I was so afraid of that towel falling off in that song..Indian movie directors have now discovered that naked men sell more than naked women.) and a slightly neurotic Sonam Kapoor..

Oh yeah, baby. That's Saawariya.

In my books, its better than OSO. Most people seemed to find it too slow. But then those are the kind that don't read short stories, or Dostoevsky. (yeah I'm trying to be wry.)

Well yeah.. Salman Khan looked good! Honestly good! Ranbir Kapoor - see you want so badly to loue him... but a little too many pelvic thrusts and weird dancing. He also does overact a little bit, but then..what the hell, if SRK can do it, so can he.
The movie is slow.. not for someone who wants only the wisecracks. It almost felt like it was in Russia when the snow started - nice touch.
Sonam Kapoor wowed more than Deepika Padukone (maybe its also because I liked what she was wearing throughout - such pretty jewellery!).
Again, I'm pretty sure I liked this film more because of the sets. Awesome sets. Some of the music was very pretty - about 3 songs specifically, that 'masha allah' song and couple more. Rani Mukherji was an entertaining spark, as was Zohra Segal.

Like the publicity says, its a simple story - and that's the beauty of it.

Anywho, there are some similarities between the two films.

a. both male protagonists resort to skin show.
b. both use that extremely irritating sort of english (where you put an 's' at the end of every word)
c. in both stories, girl is betrothed to someone else. (and I'm so happy, for obstinacy's sake, that in neither of the films does the guy get the girl despite his 'cutesy'ness. Take THAT, stupid male stereotypes.)
d. both try to throw in a dialogue or two from an old film (OSO - 'dosti mein no sorry no thanks' - plus a hundred more, and Saawariya ' Kya tumne kabhi pyar kiya?' audience : 'kiya!')
e. oh, both are linked to the song om shanti om! (Rishi K gives dialogue that's used in Saawariya before he starts the song).

Saawariya is openly theatrical. Sometimes that's all you require from a film - a storybook setting, a storybook tale, a lot of implied mysteriousness. Hated the overacting, and is he REALLY shadowboxing??(god, what the hell is he doing?) And why does he keep shaking his head like that? Its annoying!

Oh so much to poke fun at, so little time
Plus its Diwali and I feel kind.

Sigh, ok..Ranbir Kapoor has cuteness potential.
Pretty movie, a 3.25 on 5, OSO gets 2.

Om 'what the fissshhh' Om

2007-11-09T10:01:00.000+05:30

(on second thought i apologise for not having found a better title :D)

OK, in case you aren't an ardent fan, the hindi film box office is out with a spate of decent looking films. There's Tare Zameen Par.. about an autistic child I think, Aaja Nachle, Jab We Met(I personally think Kareena Kapoor is hideous, but I've heard this film is supposed to be quite decent.), and of course the much awaited Om Shanti Om and Saawariya.
I havent actually wanted to watch a hindi film since Kal Ho Na Ho (although I suspect that even that was because of the colour scheme in the promos - red, white and black.Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I have weird ways of choosing which movie to watch). But I have been absolutely dying to see Sawariya beat the shit out of OSO.(which looked terrible - the songs are moderate to bad and not particularly catchy, SRK is too old, Deepika Padukone..is..well..she's gorgeous until she opens her mouth..the theme of the movie is crap.)

So anyway yesterday I watched OSO a day before it released(i wasn't even aware they had screenings like this, and I'm glad to have gone with two ppl who are bigger hindi movie fans than me..also a big thank you to them if they see this).

Let me put you out of your misery : OSO sucks.

The only creative bits are the the first 5 minutes and the last 5 minutes.

Farah Khan tries to be too oversmart, and most people didn't get her snide humour. I know because I was the only one laughing at them in the whole theatre. It was worse than the Don incident.

I am wondering what genre she wanted the movie to be in - comedy, horror, drama? Because it touches on them all, and still isn't really any of them.

I see she found a new use for that horrid wig she made Suniel Shetty wear in Main Hoon Na. This time Arjun Rampal dons it.

And seriously, what is with the wigs? She should sack the make-up people, cuz the wigs sucked - they were a complete different colour from the involved personnel's hair.

I think my eyes are burnt cuz I almost saw SRK's derriere during his 'item' song, and that's really not something I wanted to see.

Kirron Kher..sigh.. I usually love her down-to-earth Punjabi mother act, but she really overdoes it. Have you seen her Tata Sky Ad? That much.

Shreyas Talpade.. what ARE you doing? Go home please, and forget this movie ever happened. Pretend you have amnesia. Play some cricket.

That 30 star song sucked. It was a shameless piece of self-indulgence.
The only bright spot in that act was Abhishek Bachchan. Oh wait, I think that was because he wasn't in the damn song!

SRK talks way too much in the second half.

What the hell is "what the fiiissssh!"?? I nearly wanted to get off my ass and explain 'its f*** dear. not fish. If it sounds stupid, dont say it. Say 'strawberry shortcake' - at leats ppl will think you're being funny.!

No, seriously, 'mohabbat man'?? 'hoodibaba'??

I'm sorry Farah, maybe you haven't watched your own movie, maybe the pregnancy mood swings made you change your mind about things wayy too many times, maybe your cheating husband distracted you and kept you too busy trying to keep one eye on him, and one eye on the movie, which would explain the half-baked ideas...because you cant direct the whole picture with only one focussed eye..pff..

And I hate to say it, your movie may deliver to the masses, but darling, it really sucks.

Well, anyway now I'm off to see Sawariya and hope hope hope its a much better movie.

On 'Random Play'

2007-11-05T21:53:00.001+05:30

Grr.

You know, I'll agree I have met a couple of interesting ppl on orkut/facebook whom I didnt know before. But those are exceptions..(er..and intelligent....and probably not as sexually frustrated..)

The other day I got another of those random frandship requests.
'hi,
will u be interested in random play
pannupink@yahoo.com (you know.. what the hell.. take his email ID.. you want to do some "anonymous dating".. go right ahead.)
reply there
and i dont want friendship
i,m interested in anonymous dating'

something about that really tickled me. maybe it was the 'pink' in the email ID. maybe it was the lack of fullstops and apostrophes. maybe it was the idiocy.
(i favour the 'idiocy' option..)

so i sent this person back a two liner.
'so why do you randomly pick out girls like this..?
im not interested.get a life.'

ooh boy. talk about unleashing a barrage of frustrations.
said person started ranting..and let it be known.. there's nothing i like better than fighting with someone. so i did. (guilty pleasure..it just gives me joy to toy with someone who doesnt know what the hell they're talking about)

and a couple of random back and forth insulting messages later

hey
ok
be cool
let us have truce
so
can we be sometype of
argument friends
aur whatever name u give to that not flirting
because i liked ur way to answer
i promise i will never be rude or anything like that
so tell me
i,m here online

no.. what the hell do you reply?
giggleness!
two minutes later

hey even u decline
let me knw pl.
as i,m waiting for ur reply

I'm sorry darling, I weren't aware you my romantic-hero-slash-droolworthy-knight-in-shining-armour with whom i was playing coy!

can't somebody exterminate these idiots from the internet?

god! the tragedies of being female!(dramatic gesture)

lolness.

Some day

2007-11-02T19:24:00.000+05:30

I really would like to ask Alanis what she is thanking my country for.

I really would like to mean something to somebody.

I really would like to win at something without even trying.

I really would like to win at something after trying hard.

I would like to sing some weird songs!

I would like to figure out the meaning of life.. a little past 42.

I'd like to write a mad, mad book.

I'd like to tell off some bullies.

I'd like to own a phone that can store more contacts.

I'd like to be unashamedly happy.

I'd like to be nice to people not because I have to, but because I want to.

I'd like to have so many more things to do!

:)

The Kitchen Lighter

2007-10-29T20:43:00.001+05:30

The kitchen lighter gives me shocks
Tiny thrills of energy
But when I told you that they hurt
You chose not to believe me.

Every day I got more charged
One day it got so bad I burst.
You looked around at my remains
And decided to find the lighter first.

Not to be rude or anything..but
When you said 'oh dear, I'm lost
I really loved her, how'd this happen?'
You really infuriated my ghost.

(next chapter : how ghost took revenge by making said person stick finger in socket and get electrocuted)

Emily

2007-10-26T15:09:00.001+05:30

I discovered I really like Emily Dickinson. This post dedicated to her.

--------------------------------------

The heart asks pleasure first,
And then, excuse from pain;
And then, those little anodynes
That deaden suffering;

And then, to go to sleep;
And then, if it should be
The will of its Inquisitor,
The liberty to die.

--------------------------------------

Much madness is divinest sense
To a discerning eye;
Much sense the starkest madness.
’T is the majority
In this, as all, prevails.
Assent, and you are sane;
Demur,—you ’re straightway dangerous,
And handled with a chain.

--------------------------------------

To fight aloud is very brave,
But gallanter, I know,
Who charge within the bosom,
The cavalry of woe.

Who win, and nations do not see,
Who fall, and none observe,
Whose dying eyes no country
Regards with patriot love.

We trust, in plumed procession,
For such the angels go,
Rank after rank, with even feet
And uniforms of snow.

--------------------------------------

I had no time to hate, because
The grave would hinder me,
And life was not so ample I
Could finish enmity.

Nor had I time to love; but since
Some industry must be,
The little toil of love, I thought,
Was large enough for me.

---------------------------------------

I could go on posting. She's brilliant.

Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore (1974)

2007-10-20T13:29:00.001+05:30

4.25 out of 5.
You know why this movie was good? It doesnt warm the cockles of your heart. And yet, it does warm the cockles of your heart. Point is, its realistic.The best part about this movie is that it doesn't overdo it while having sufficient openings to potentially break down into a weepy em-o-tional flick. Love the wryness of Ellen Burstyn's character, and everything in the movie is something that you could imagine to have happened.
(Its extremely easy to make me as an individual like a movie.. just tell me its realistic. The last time I said a movie was realistic was.. Hazaron Khwahishein Aisi? Ok, let me clarify, most bits in that are, some bits are not.)

Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore. Directed by Martin Scorsese, its the story of a newly-widowed Alice, (Ellen Burstyn), the 'singing waitress' who moves to find a new job and life, and she wants to move back to the town she was raised in as a child because she thinks she'll be happy there. The opening sequence puzzled me a little because I thought 'eh? what is this..a musical?', but then after you watch the rest of the movie, you understand it. I think the movie gets better after it progresses (i nearly switched it off after the first 10 minutes because I was irritated by what a stupid doormat she seemed..one of those idiotic women) but by the time you get to the part where she's working at the diner, you begin to love it. She's not a flat character. That's where the real story starts. Alfred Lutter as her 11 yr old son Tommy is a brilliant distraction, wise beyond his years , and I'm sure as hell glad the script demanded it of him. Existential humour, I think a lot of people wouldn't get some of it (I'm not being condescending, I just think that very few people are actually interested in this sort of stuff.)

No need to tell you everything because the story isn't important. The movie is just fun to watch. Its in no way slapstick l-o-l funny, but it IS i-exist funny (if you understood that). One character I really did love though was this space-head waitress Vera who works with Alice at Mel and Ruby's Diner(Ruby died 22 years ago or something). Vera is so dazed and lost(literally). I loved her.

Alice herself is no doormat saintly woman. She just is. There's this bit after her husband dies when her son asks her 'why aren't you sad?', and see.. thats what is real.. people arent' permanently sad after their spouses die. I like that she takes it as an opportunity to move on and move away! Besides Kris Kristofferson is(was) such a hunk :)

Her son Tommy.. is one character. If you can get past his terrible gorilla-dog joke (which I still have not understood), you'll like him and his bratty know-it-all-ness. He later finds this friend Audrey (who I first thought was a small boy, but later figured out was actually Jodie Foster. Sorry Jodie, I really loved you in Contact.), who shows him how to steal guitar strings from a shop. Very nice.

Its a nice general movie. Other reviews I found say that its very 1970's American life, so I'll take their word for it.
:)

Love Profusion

2007-10-18T12:35:00.002+05:30

Aw.. so pwetty.(I know its madonna.. but the song was coming on the rad-i-o..and i remembered that i liked the video..:D)

cheet-ah

2007-10-18T10:57:00.002+05:30

the other day
there was a dog
painted like a cheetah
its head upright, ears twitching
riding through the busy traffic roads
atop a bullock cart
beside its master.

despite the illusion
it was still
a mangy
dog.