Wake Up Sid!
8:50 PM - Posted by t2 -
First of all I HAVE to tell you about the unfortunate demise of the head honcho of Trump It Entertainment and Creative Services(which as most of you DON'T know, is the name of the place I work for. Yes, I work. Really.) Gina Braganza.

Here's the bottom line. Gina was awesome. Gina was wonder-woman. And if I could ever do as much as Gina had done in her life I'd be the happiest person in the world.

So Rest In Peace, Gina. You'll never know how much you inspired an irreverent brat who you never thought was any good at what she does. I would have liked you to meet me in 10 years - just so that you realise that that faith wasn't wasted on someone who will do nothing with her life.

Now, lovers, enough about my personal life and what's happening in it, because you don't really care about it, and I don't care for you to know either.

Lets talk about Wake Up Sid.





















You consider me a rather bitchy nutjob, but at least a friend, don't you? So be honest. When you first heard about the two leads in the film, didn't you go 'Whaaa? No. It'll never work.'
No?
Then you're more forgiving. I however, did.

Ranbeer Kapoor? Konkona Sen Sharma? My favouritest boy-toy on the market, the term 'favouritest' (and yes, I know that isn't a real word) being influenced hugely by the fact that he has an 'axe' (very very sexy) behind, and the most irritating average actress in the whole wannabe-Indie Hindi movie scene - together? Opposite each other? Whaaaaaaaat?

No. No. NO.

But don't be so hasty. After this movie, I will have complete faith in new directors, especially ones like Ayan Mukherji. No more doubt. I will open my mind to new experiences. (To be honest I wanted to insert a very NSFW metaphor here which included being ridden like a...well, lets just stop here because whether I like it or not I have family looking at this blog to which I would like to say - please don't. I can't be myself without wondering who is going to jump on me for saying what.)

The plot - well, there isn't much of it. The realism - well, with Aisha making her filthy empty apartment a designer one on... what? 30 thou a month? (also I will swear on my mother's fan shaped porcelain earrings that she was wearing Jimmy Choos or a designer equivalent in one scene) - there isn't much of that either. The novelty factor - erm, the less said about THAT, the better.
Then what, you ask, dear reader, is all the hoo-haa about?

If you would ask me what the main reason is that I love Ranbeer Kapoor, I would tell you that besides the fact that he has a FABULOUS derriere, he has the ability to make the best out of his idiotic roles. Not that this one was idiotic. I liked his character. Because that would be me. And I swear to God, the fight he has in his house with his father before leaving is a fight I have had with my father many many times.

Konkona's character was also believable. In fact, every single character was believable except for Kashmira Shah's. Have you ever had a neighbour who dresses like that in Mumbai and who isn't a prostitute? If you have please tell me and I will retract this.

However, I am sorry Konkona, but must you do every film of yours as the same woman? The pretty-but-not-gorgeous, insightful, loving, caring, surprisingly talented and subtly womanly darling? Because I am bored of you. Except for Aaja Nach Le where I loved you as a sniffling dirty brat. And honey, I watched that interview of yours on KJo's new show on Zoom(no I don't know what its called because I don't really watch TV, but I'm sure its something like Kuch Tum Kaho, Kuch Hum Kahein which incidentally the title of a very cheesy Fardeen Khan movie which I promise you I haven't watched.) where he asks you if you think you were like the character you played and you said 'no'. Babe. Don't lie to your public. We see through all of it. You are Aisha.

And the chemistry, and there is some, was good! At some point I had my hands in the air cheering on for them to go ahead and Do it, already! But they didn't. No kiss also. Why must you torture me so? I know Ranbeer can kiss, ok! I watched him in Bachna Ae Haseeno with Deepika Padukone and that kiss was ssssmokin! The fact that it was the only ssssmokin thing in the whole film is another story altogether so lets not go there.

But alriiiiiiiiight I will harness my wild emotions and tell you the rest of it.
Great Art Direction. Every single thing in that movie is beautiful, and somehow very simply. Except for Konkona's apartment which is complicatedly trying to achieve a simple look.

I don't like to give away spoilers in my reviews so no more plot. Rating - 4 on 5. Ok, now go away! There's a lot more I want to say about this but I've exceeded my word limit!



Dil Bole Hadippa
12:55 AM - Posted by t2 -
Ok, that is just an ugly poster.

Today I was feeling VERY Bollywood and thought of going and catching 'What's your Rashee?'. Eh, I'm a big Priyanka Chopra fan. (At least there's ONE actress who carries off short hair with panache!) So yes, reasons, excuses, blah blah, ended up going for this instead. I must say I really didn't want to watch this one at all despite the fact that Shahid was in it, and he has actually done some good films off-late! Please, counteract that one positive point with the fact that it was associated with:
a) Yash Raj Films! Noooooo! I cannot sit through another Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gam!
b) Rani Mukherji. Nyeah. I never found her good/bad/cutesy etc. She was just... meh.

Well. I think I might have cultivated a tiny bit of respect for her in my cynical, barren, snobby mind! She really manages to do justice to her part as a boy!
Granted, the fake beard/moustache were of some really bad quality. I'll agree, the movie was a little preachy. So MAYBE there was a fair amount of overacting, and waaaaay too much colour-co-ordination going on with the background extras. And I'll even admit, it was too wannabe Punjabi and had the usual DDLJ references and boy-wooing girl crap.

But I'll also draw attention to the fact that this WAS a real mischievous movie, not just some low-standard crap trying to garner a few laughs with perverted jokes. There were some genuinely funny moments. I like that they tried to give Rakhi Sawant an actual part. And I loved that Rani didn't fall for Shahid till the very end. (I actually just loved her wardrobe more than all of this rubbish... buuuuut that's unrelated.)

So it's a rip-off. But a valiant effort. I'll give it 3. Just because it is watchable, and you won't come out feeling like you wasted your money.

And now I will gracefully exit before my evil, opinionated, freshly-bitch-manicured fingers start typing out EXACTLY what I thought of the place that Rani works at, that RIDICULOUS India-Pakistan match, and the dragging Oh-God-Please-Get-Over-Soon-Before-I-Strangle-Myself runtime. I'll even gloss over her silly Jhansi Ki Rani/Indira Gandhi women empowerment speech.

See? I'm not always opinionated!


The Ugly Truth isn't.
11:49 PM - Posted by t2 -

Isn't what, you ask?

Why, Ugly of course. Or truthful. Between Katherine Heigl attempting an orgasm scene in a restaurant(is it possible to have an orgasm simply with vibrating underwear and no dildo? Or were they trying to make the movie family-safe? Because it isn't.) and Gerald Butler trying to look like a dashing candidate for love, it is on the whole, kind of a Fail. I mean, Mew Ryan PWNS the orgasm scene.

But lets be truthful here. There are times where genuine chemistry shines through. Katherine Heigl is gorgeous in a very natural way, despite a collection of some shitty flicks under her belt (Knocked up, 27 Dresses, uuuuuurrrrgh). And Gerald... why hell-o, sexy caveman. I'd do him anyday. Despite the weirdly proportioned face and the fact that I hated him in the Phantom of the Opera.(I just counteract that with 'Madness??!! THIS. IS. SPARTA!!!!') Hawt.

And yes, sexy make-out scene, and there is only one that is remotely sexy, I'll give it to them for the elevator.

My rating? 3 on 5. Because there is some real humour in there. And I really didn't dislike it. Anyway I'm tired of everybody giving intense movies a higher score. Because comedy is a hundred times harder than intense. So come on Katherine and Gerald. You're both gorgeous people, with wonderful personalities, and one with a baby, even. Can you please crawl out of this burrow of formula that you've dug for yourselves and show us what you're all about? Because I love you, truly, but the cruel world is less forgiving.


Moving is fun when it's without the boxes
11:25 PM - Posted by t2 -
So yes, listen, for non-movie purposes, I've moved here.

I hate Livejournal. If it didnt work for me 4 years ago, it ain't gonna work now :P

Go there and worship me, honey-bunnies.

Love and Kisses XOXO.


Coraline.
11:47 PM - Posted by t2 -

Anybody who likes the idea of an alternate universe is bound to fascinated by this movie.

The first half went charmingly well, as you fall in love with characters like Wybie(Why Born - Wyborne) and Coraline, the crazily easy-to-imagine Mister Bobbinsky and Miss Spink and Miss Forcible(French and Saunders! Screech!). Coraline finds a door to the 'other' house with her 'other' Mother and Father who are only distinguished by the fact that they have buttons for eyes.

The second half, well, meh. It just reminded me of this computer game that I used to play growing up, and I suspect that any child will probably get the very same delicious chill creeping up their spine from watching Coraline that I used to get playing Escape from Horrorland, but its been done before, y'know? (In my case and with reference to the computer game - Escape from Horrorland was the shyte - if you were into 'Goosebumps'! Whoop whoop, Windows '97!)

So back to the movie.

I dislike Dakota Fanning in general, so she was passable. I do, however, adore Teri Hatcher and I think she did an awesome job. At no point in this movie will you feel bored, because the stop-motion is so fluid and realistic that its hard to believe they've achieved it without using something like Rotoscoping.

Go watch it for the cat. I loved how the purring was so realistic.

Also, cool opening song. Listen to the words.



The Cake Eaters
12:43 PM - Posted by t2 -

I'm getting used to doing short and simple thanks to Twitter. So, quite simply, the Cake Eaters isn't much.

Kristi Stewart was ok. But um, the only reason I was glad I watched this movie was because of the soundtrack which is far superior.

Watch to listen, if you must. Thanks@Man.U. for the link :)




Rent
11:33 AM - Posted by t2 - 0 comments

A musical is like an ex-boyfriend who you know was bad for you, but whose arms you gladly run back into, just because he knows you so well.

So I watched Rent! Right, its official. If psychologists only prescribed musicals instead of therapy, the world would be a much happier place.

My only problem is that it subsequently disappoints me that people don't sing to each other during the course of a normal conversation.

Rosario Dawson was quite gorgeous. I mean, if you're going to cast people in a musical, at least cast someone like her who can sing(remember that mess they made of Mamma Mia? NOBODY could sing!). Look out for 'Out tonight' and 'Light My Candle'!

They've got 6 of the original cast members reprising their roles here. Well, I also only partly downloaded this because it had Idina Menzel. Why would someone like her do an 'Enchanted'? She had no singing in that at all. And what's the point of being in a musical if you aren't singing?
(Confession: what in the world was her 'piece' at the protest? Self-indulgent and ridiculous.)

Wilson Jermaine Heredia is so adorable as Angel! Biased if you've ever seen him in Flawless and have a soft spot for drag queens.

Basically a great movie because it's so tight and you enjoy every bit of it. Every song has such pleasing simple harmony and you can't help but laugh, cry and sing along when the characters are doing it themselves.

This is my new 'Across the Universe'!



Slumdog Millionaire
1:34 PM - Posted by t2 - 5 comments

I think my favourite scene in the movie is this one - the protagonist as a small child jumps into a pond of human waste and runs out covered in aforementioned, just to get an autograph of Amitabh Bachchan. Is that subtly meant to be equating the two ? ;) Everyone around me was 'eww'-ing and 'gross'-ing. I think that after all the hoo-haa has settled, that might actually become one of the most famous scenes from the movie! But so far the only thing crossing my mind in this sub-section of the movie is, what did they use to make the excreta look so realistic? I'm really curious! If anybody has an idea you're welcome to tell me!



Finally, a good laugh!
6:30 PM - Posted by t2 -

R on 'Barkha Dutt having her orgasmic news realisations'

Hahahahaha!!!
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I came across the Sitayana again today. Having blogged about it a couple of years ago (ok so I just mentioned it so that I wouldn't forget) when it was still being made, I'm glad to see that it was actually completed and screened this year!
I need to find a copy of the full thing, its outright adorable and total feminist-fun. Just depressing that its NOT, after all, going to released on DVD, because the cartoonist Nina Paley is bound to get into all sorts of trouble for demoralising Hindu Gods. Really sad. Here's the promo - 



What I do when the madness seizes me.
6:09 PM - Posted by t2 -
I discovered a passion for Kandinsky. Because something about his paintings make sense. And there's geometry, but its still complex. And colourful. So I decided to try Upward. Granted, my copy will be extremely terrible given that I have had no real art education except for those classes I used to go for when I was 11, and even then, all she taught me were oil pastels.
So, hopefully I'll finish it in the next 2 days. The copy that I began with though, was this :















And then I discovered that the actual print looks like this :















Talk about change in colour! However, I still prefer image no 1. This is as far as I've gotten anyway, so I still have the option of changing, but I dont want to:












And there are some major mistakes which are suddenly becoming very apparent to me, so I suppose I'll give it 4 days including the damage control.





But before that, an update on my Girl who has been lying out of shame under a pile of books for the past year and a half or so. I finally fixed her. Originally after pondering over her for more then a week, I remember getting highly frustrated and painting blue and green circle-y things where the skies should be a' la Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. They were REALLY ugly. And in the process I managed to smudge blue on her hair, the sand, the pole, everything. So since my brush was blue anyway, I did some damage control, fixed the sky, sharpened her image and now, I'll let her dry till I can actually think of something to do with her which dont require skills better than mine.
Ah it feels good to be back amongst my messy oils.


More than a week..
6:02 PM - Posted by t2 -
..and people are going around blaming the media for being irresponsible. I agree that in some instances they have been irresponsible, but I still find it odd that the people who are complaining about the media are the ones who are sitting comfortably in their houses, and being hypocrites. I believe that only a person who has consciously been 'responsible' in a situation where he/she claims that the other has been irresponsible, is one that can be taken seriously. I don't think there are many of those around. 
So I still am on the side of the Indian media. Well, at least the ones who have not treated this tragedy like a soap opera.



Dasvidaniya
4:49 PM - Posted by t2 -

My rating - 3 on 5

I am sick of 'bittersweet' being the only word used to describe this movie! What is with the rest of the reviewers in India? Have they an even more limited vocabulary than I do? (which is good, this signals that I might just get my dream job. Hah!)

Certainly didn't dislike. I mean, if you overlook the few parts that were totally unnecessary, like the Alter-Ego's 'asides', those annoyed me. I mean, give us, as the audience SOME credit, we can usually figure out the obvious things without them being explained to us! And while any song dedicated to 'mumma' is guaranteed to be well-loved by the audience even if the tune is really weird, there was something genuine in this one. Still, liked but didn't love.

Erm, be warned, you may die of emotional overload. It was a little rough around the edges, not quite a classic, but totally worth a watch.

oh P.S. - I didn't think the girl could act. The Russian one.
And the Alter-Ego's appearance was unnecessary. It just turned into a caricature with no real contribution towards the movie. Like, seriously, wouldn't it have just been nicer if all this was unsaid by him but just acted out with one of those silent, knowing smiles? I think it would have been understood just as well.


Grumble.
12:18 PM - Posted by t2 -
fjghtuhjk.

gah.


Dostana
6:42 PM - Posted by t2 -

Rating - 2.5 on 5

Comments -
1st Half - I'm too busy laughing my head off to comment on it!
2nd Half - I (wish I had) walked out of the movie hall midway so that I'd have no reason to be negative.

Consistency doesn't exist, does it?

First the Good - This movie is a brilliant pick-me-upper. I went in with a healthy dose of cynicism, expecting even the funny to be unfunny, but when Kirron Kher says 'phalo, phoolo... khair... chodo', even the most grumpy cynicial biatch will laugh. First half highly recommended for depressed morons who have no hang-ups with homosexuality
p.s - Romal, I love the song 'maa da laadla' - the original, every time the Punjabi dancers leapt out at Kirron Kher and started dancing chirpily while she was making those 'tragedy' faces, I burst out laughing! Hah! Remix is pretty Dance-able too. I only know this because i was considering asking a cousin to choreograph it for another cousin's wedding, but.. would it be giving out the wrong signals to the groom-to-be? Bwahahahaha!!!
The songs..The first one is really good - Jaane Kyun Dil Jaanta Hai. I have to comment on how great it is, Vishal and Shekhar, yes, maybe V is a sell-out, and the music of OSO really sucked, but this is a REALLY catchy number! One of those Monday Morning songs.
Oh and PC looks good.

The Bad - Time for the section I like to call COPYCAT. Movies/Characters that it has been 'inspired' from -
1.Abhishek Bachchan is JD of Scrubs, including his uniform!
2. Boman Irani is totally 'The Devil Wears Prada's Miranda Priestly. By the way, Karan Johar is doing this knowingly, realising that his characters are going to be recognised, right? I mean, Boman Irani's name is 'M'. M for Murali, M for Miranda. Tribute or just plain laziness?
3. One of the songs has shades of '13 going on 30'. Now this is where KJ just plainly gets lazy! The leaves flying in the wind didn't quite have the same effect, darling. Not when it goes on for 5 whole minutes! Surely by then, she would have ENOUGH sense to walk out of their way, if someone didn't already switch it off?
4. And WHY..you know what, enough with Kuch Kuch Hota Hai! No More!! I don't want to sit through any more f@^&-ing tributes to it! No more SRK-Kajol-rain sequence!

The Ugly -
Boman Irani. Sorry :) That Yellow Tie was Ugly.
Abhishek Bachchan - Gold Tracksuit. Need I say more? (Err..no..I don't secretly covet it! Really! Wait... is that a gold tracksuit ON SALE? Gimme!)
Johnnie Boy - Ah well, I hate to say it, BUTT, sometimes I tire of seeing well-toned male bodies on a large screen. And I thought only women paraded their chests around! No?

Hah, its good timepass :D

Its true that it really is more difficult to make people laugh. And accepting Gay Men in India? Well.. I suppose it is a good attempt.
Ok no, I don't really mean that, what I mean is, did you have to be so goddamn safe? To illustrate my point, no matter how hilarious Abhishek Bachchan is, and no matter how well John Abraham's lack of acting skills are hidden, at the end of the day the two guys aren't REALLY gay. Which I think defeats the point. Its like saying ' Yeah, gay men are OK, but thank God we aren't gay.'
Ridiculous!


Fashion
12:12 PM - Posted by t2 -
Interesting, but don't you think some of it was really stupid, just like in Page 3?

3 on 5

Kangana Ranaut should
a. never open her mouth
b. learn more curse words, one gets tired of hearing 'bastard' all the time.