The Mistress Of Gyaan

I think my favourite scene in the movie is this one - the protagonist as a small child jumps into a pond of human waste and runs out covered in aforementioned, just to get an autograph of Amitabh Bachchan. Is that subtly meant to be equating the two ? ;) Everyone around me was 'eww'-ing and 'gross'-ing. I think that after all the hoo-haa has settled, that might actually become one of the most famous scenes from the movie! But so far the only thing crossing my mind in this sub-section of the movie is, what did they use to make the excreta look so realistic? I'm really curious! If anybody has an idea you're welcome to tell me!

R on 'Barkha Dutt having her orgasmic news realisations'

I discovered a passion for Kandinsky. Because something about his paintings make sense. And there's geometry, but its still complex. And colourful. So I decided to try Upward. Granted, my copy will be extremely terrible given that I have had no real art education except for those classes I used to go for when I was 11, and even then, all she taught me were oil pastels.

..and people are going around blaming the media for being irresponsible. I agree that in some instances they have been irresponsible, but I still find it odd that the people who are complaining about the media are the ones who are sitting comfortably in their houses, and being hypocrites. I believe that only a person who has consciously been 'responsible' in a situation where he/she claims that the other has been irresponsible, is one that can be taken seriously. I don't think there are many of those around. 

My rating - 3 on 5

I am sick of 'bittersweet' being the only word used to describe this movie! What is with the rest of the reviewers in India? Have they an even more limited vocabulary than I do? (which is good, this signals that I might just get my dream job. Hah!)

Certainly didn't dislike. I mean, if you overlook the few parts that were totally unnecessary, like the Alter-Ego's 'asides', those annoyed me. I mean, give us, as the audience SOME credit, we can usually figure out the obvious things without them being explained to us! And while any song dedicated to 'mumma' is guaranteed to be well-loved by the audience even if the tune is really weird, there was something genuine in this one. Still, liked but didn't love.

Erm, be warned, you may die of emotional overload. It was a little rough around the edges, not quite a classic, but totally worth a watch.

oh P.S. - I didn't think the girl could act. The Russian one.
And the Alter-Ego's appearance was unnecessary. It just turned into a caricature with no real contribution towards the movie. Like, seriously, wouldn't it have just been nicer if all this was unsaid by him but just acted out with one of those silent, knowing smiles? I think it would have been understood just as well.

fjghtuhjk.

Rating - 2.5 on 5

Comments -
1st Half - I'm too busy laughing my head off to comment on it!
2nd Half - I (wish I had) walked out of the movie hall midway so that I'd have no reason to be negative.

Consistency doesn't exist, does it?

First the Good - This movie is a brilliant pick-me-upper. I went in with a healthy dose of cynicism, expecting even the funny to be unfunny, but when Kirron Kher says 'phalo, phoolo... khair... chodo', even the most grumpy cynicial biatch will laugh. First half highly recommended for depressed morons who have no hang-ups with homosexuality
p.s - Romal, I love the song 'maa da laadla' - the original, every time the Punjabi dancers leapt out at Kirron Kher and started dancing chirpily while she was making those 'tragedy' faces, I burst out laughing! Hah! Remix is pretty Dance-able too. I only know this because i was considering asking a cousin to choreograph it for another cousin's wedding, but.. would it be giving out the wrong signals to the groom-to-be? Bwahahahaha!!!
The songs..The first one is really good - Jaane Kyun Dil Jaanta Hai. I have to comment on how great it is, Vishal and Shekhar, yes, maybe V is a sell-out, and the music of OSO really sucked, but this is a REALLY catchy number! One of those Monday Morning songs.
Oh and PC looks good.

The Bad - Time for the section I like to call COPYCAT. Movies/Characters that it has been 'inspired' from -
1.Abhishek Bachchan is JD of Scrubs, including his uniform!
2. Boman Irani is totally 'The Devil Wears Prada's Miranda Priestly. By the way, Karan Johar is doing this knowingly, realising that his characters are going to be recognised, right? I mean, Boman Irani's name is 'M'. M for Murali, M for Miranda. Tribute or just plain laziness?
3. One of the songs has shades of '13 going on 30'. Now this is where KJ just plainly gets lazy! The leaves flying in the wind didn't quite have the same effect, darling. Not when it goes on for 5 whole minutes! Surely by then, she would have ENOUGH sense to walk out of their way, if someone didn't already switch it off?
4. And WHY..you know what, enough with Kuch Kuch Hota Hai! No More!! I don't want to sit through any more f@^&-ing tributes to it! No more SRK-Kajol-rain sequence!

The Ugly -
Boman Irani. Sorry :) That Yellow Tie was Ugly.
Abhishek Bachchan - Gold Tracksuit. Need I say more? (Err..no..I don't secretly covet it! Really! Wait... is that a gold tracksuit ON SALE? Gimme!)
Johnnie Boy - Ah well, I hate to say it, BUTT, sometimes I tire of seeing well-toned male bodies on a large screen. And I thought only women paraded their chests around! No?

Hah, its good timepass :D

Its true that it really is more difficult to make people laugh. And accepting Gay Men in India? Well.. I suppose it is a good attempt.
Ok no, I don't really mean that, what I mean is, did you have to be so goddamn safe? To illustrate my point, no matter how hilarious Abhishek Bachchan is, and no matter how well John Abraham's lack of acting skills are hidden, at the end of the day the two guys aren't REALLY gay. Which I think defeats the point. Its like saying ' Yeah, gay men are OK, but thank God we aren't gay.'
Ridiculous!

Interesting, but don't you think some of it was really stupid, just like in Page 3?

3 on 5

Kangana Ranaut should
a. never open her mouth
b. learn more curse words, one gets tired of hearing 'bastard' all the time.

I think I ought to start a new movie category - 'Why Have I Not Seen This Before?"
Rating - 4 on 5!!

Brilliant movie, or maybe I'm just in the mood to be nice to Ranvir Shorey.
Love plot, love acting, love background score.
Hate Neha Dhupia's semi-item at the beginning.
One might think that the 'look-alike' angle might be overused, but it works in this movie (aargh, my vocab is so limited, its not funny).
I really liked this one, with Rajat Kapoor's directing, and much of the same people involved, I think it was actually better than Bheja Fry.
(Also way better than Taare Zameen Par in terms of direction, camerawork, dialogue. But then TZP has the big advantage - thanks to the invincible 'Social Message' factor.)


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Ugly Aur Pagli
2 on 5
Erm,
I'm not sure if I can be trusted to rate this one sanely since I had my PG owner's two grandchildren sitting on either side of me and saying.. 'but, isnt this an adult movie?'. Alright, missies precocious, there's a reason I closed the door! But I guess you can watch the movie along with me but I'm not answering any questions related to sex!
Anyway its NOT an 'adult' movie'(Can any hindi movie except Kamasutra and those B Grade blue films really be 'adult'? Not that I'm complaining..)
It really wasn't that bad. Mallika Shrawat looked like a typical Mumbai chick - the type I see on the local (yes, really).
And, yeah, it was quite passable! I rather enjoyed it, actually. Its just not genius, thats all.

KARZZZZZZZ!!!

Its got Himesh! Nasal tone and all! Whee!!!

1. This is a musical
2. About musicians!
Drool.

I suspect I actually liked this movie because I've heard 'falling softly' on the radio too many times without actually knowing who sang it. And of course, because of my theory that musicals in which you know the words to the songs are awesome :D
Either way, songs are great, for some reason, they fit with me because I'm used to a piano and guitar being the only 'in-reach' instruments, and love harmonies, whee!
Yes there were the standard cultural problems, but overall, you 'get' the feeling! SO refreshing to see another 'mad artiste' movie that is completely in denial of the fact that even arty talent nowadays is corporatised. Sigh :). Cathartic, makes me miss the madness.

Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na

erm, 2.5 on 5. Because-
1. Genelia's voice annoys me.
2. It was funny, but unreal. And I hate giving unreal Indian movies good ratings(unless they're openly unreal like Saawariya. And that movie WAS good, goddamit! To be fair, there's only so much you an do while Indianising Dostoevsky, yes?)
Oh.
To get back on track.
I mean, what kind of dumb girl would pretend that she isn't in love with who she's in love with, and pretend to be smart, but still agree and want to get married to some random stranger right out of college? Is it just my Bangalore Cynicism, or is there a contradiction there?
3. I have to agree with all the 'real' critics, so many of the characters were underdeveloped. They would have been more fun had the movie dwelt on their stories, and not on the story of that silly girl who they're telling the story to. Even a lot of IK's girlfriend, and her silly 'whats this?' game. Blech.
4. Ratna Pathak Shah, saving grace as usual.
5. Paresh Rawal also was hilarious!
Eh..nice movie :) Funny, LOL-worthy. I wont be mean, because to be honest its very easy to be mean, especially if you havent made a film yourself, ever. And i'll totally avoid talking about how his house looks like a set, and how nobody actually goes to a nightclub on a horse..even in Mumbai, and how there aren't even that any horse drawn buggys in the city, and that its targetting rich urban youth.. yeah, lets just slide right over all of it.

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Being Jane

Yeah, the inevitable 3.
Finally watched! Fell in love with hero again (eh..its a girl thing). And see, I'm not evil about every female actor..Anne Hathaway I usually like. :)

This reminds me of The Jane Austen Book Club and how I really badly want to have one :) And if I were in Bangalore right now, I'd totally start one.

The Accidental Husband-
1. Denny!! Whee!(Shut up and admit it, you loved him in Grey's Anatomy.)
2. 'Indian' really is in, init? Hahahahaha!
(yeah, this movie gets half a star extra because it has a ton of Indian songs as part of the background score.And yes, I take my patriotism highly unrealistically, how would you like yours, monsieur? ;D )
Rating - 2 on 5

Although, Uma Thurman really is annoying when she isn't kicking ass a-la Kill Bill, no?

Welcome to Sajjanpur

Just to be noted - I actually saw this movie on the first weekend after it released(this is a big thing for me since i usually catch movies, like, 2 years after they've released.)
Rating - 4 on 5
Ila Arun is brilliant.
First movie after Iqbal that I liked Shreyas Talpade in.
And when Amrita Rao is done behaving like her typical soppy womanly delicate character, maybe we can begin to consider that she might have acting skills. Which is not in this film, sadly.
Loved Munnibhai the Hijra - Brilliant! Ravi Jhankal.
What the hell were Rajeshwari Sachdev and that Bhojpuri man..Ravi Kishen...doing there? useless waste of celluloid space.
Yashpal Sharma as Ramsingh was very good.
Pleasant movie, although I saw the Divya Dutta - Shreyas Talpade union coming right at the beginning. :)


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Flashbacks Of A Fool

Rating - I don't usually like rating English (non-Indian) movies because I don't know how valid my rating must be, but 1 on 5, and an exception here, because I'm curious with this one.

Erm, maybe its the cultural differences, but I didn't get it. At all. Except for the last scene where that woman looks at DC's cheque, and the lines of that Roxy Music song(?) that he's written down, and finally cries at her husband's death. Otherwise... nothing.
Plus, ooh I wanted to include this - The title of this movie was what the subtitle of my life would be immediately after watching it, and pondering if it was really over.(Ok, ok.)
And also, after the first 5-10 minutes of nudity, watched at Gaety Galaxy in Bandra(I REALLY want to change my name to Sandra, lol) which is like a private theatre, and actually reminds me of what theatres in Bangalore used to be like when I was a kid, and before they were torn down, well, after the first few minutes, and when DC walks naked to his shower, and you get to stare at his awesome butt for so long that you now want to see it in some pants, some girl at the back says sardonically "Well, now thats too much of a flashback!". ROTFL. People in Mumbai ARE funny :) !

I suppose I just want to see if this becomes one of this 'critically acclaimed' movies....
:)

Rating - 3.75 on 5

Clearly Shefali Shah was the best thing in the movie. And the Big B- well lets just say that I can't believe that Anthony of AAA played a stage actor, quite decently even. Not to say that other characters weren't 'real', because they were, but only because of the writer/director's vision of them. They were nothing in themselves.

Why is it that English dialogue from Indian actors' mouths comes out so unconvincingly? Even if, when I imagine the situation in real life, it seems believeable enough.
And also, Rituparno Ghosh seems to have a strange fascination for living-rooms(remember Raincoat?). But while I didnt think it worked in Raincoat, it definitely worked in this movie. In fact, I think he could scrap the rest of the movie all together, and just keep the living room bits and make a separate movie based on some woman-oriented theme. grin grin.

But the movie worked! Nothing could spoil it for me, not even the girlie-party in the theatre singing ' na na, na na na, na na na' to that Rock On song in the interval.



It has some 'moments' to look out for -

-(after calling a fellow actor a homosexual and being highly politically incorrect about it, Harry) "Well, you wanted my reaction? Here's my reaction. Dont worry, I wont take it back."

-"Oberon?Robin?"
" Robin Hood?"

- AR "Dont make me feel g-(choke)-guilty" (hey that worked ok.)

- Vandana "I tell him, its me V-"(angry tear). Loved!

And, Harry, on Maqbool the clown (mutters) "thank God he's got a name, I was getting tired of hearing 'this man, this man' "

Totally watchable, and totally worked for me!